Category: Eggplant

Secret Life of a Pen

Mackenzie Hughes ‘25 Thrilled to be here I have been the most perfect of witnesses. The lies, the thievery, the cheating.  Thus, this is unquestionably the finest piece of text ever narrated by a pen.  I don’t remember where or when I woke up. All I can recall […]

The Last Spire

Michael Vail ‘24 So Long, and Goodnight This is it: the last Spire issue of the semester. And as you all know, it is also the last Spire you will ever see. After December 9, 2022, the Spire will be discontinued. But I didn’t need to tell you […]

The Mitochondria is a Woman

Mackenzie Hughes ’25 Someone who gets distracted in class thinking about what gender parts of the cell are If the cell’s powerhouse has any gender, it’s female. The thing that’s responsible for generating most of the chemical energy needed to power the cell’s biomechanical reactions ain’t gonna be […]

Because of Inflation

Mackenzie Hughes ‘25  Avid Student Because of inflation  Half marathons will now be 14 miles We’re gonna have an even bigger freshman class next year The Harry Potter series will now be nine movies  Because of inflation  Dunkin’ Donuts cup holders will now have five spots for drinks […]

The Holy Cross Mission

Michael Vail ‘24 Entomologist      I found a mosquito on a windowsill in Kimball today, at coordinates 42.2401347, -71.8083961. Feeling particularly philosophical, I referred to our mission statement in search of guidance.      What are our obligations to one another? What is our special responsibility to the world’s poor […]