Hannah Johnson ‘21Assistant to the regional editor Ladies and comrades, I have another small glimpse to offer into my life abroad in Russia. The first “Day in the Life” was about a clown in a Starbucks–this one is about a dapper Bingo Boom Man. …also taking place in […]
Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor [Aboard the T, Bill and Bikus sit next to each other enroute to Grafton] Train Voice Announcement (stern and annoyed): Get off only at a door accompanied by an MBTA staff member! Bill: Why does he say it like that? Bikus: People are stupid […]
Greg Hausler ‘20Eggplant Editor On Sunday, President Donald J. Trump attended the Daytona 500 and made history as the the second US president to kickstart the Great American Race with the trademark, “Gentlemen, start your engines!” and the first of any president to take a lap in the […]
Matt Anderson ‘21 Genuinely Concerned In an impromptu interview conducted in an Alumni bathroom this weekend, a first-year student, Ivan Ichianus ‘23, expressed concern that the person in the stall next to them may be in dire straits. “He’s been there every time I’ve gone to pee. I didn’t […]
Matt Anderson ‘21Chief Eggplant Editor Attached below is a copy of Father Boroughs’ Valentine’s Day email draft leaked to The Eggplant. Dear Members of the Campus Community, As we begin what feels like a particularly busy Spring semester, I want to wish you and your classmates a joyous […]
Greg Hausler ’20 Eggplant Editor It’s that time of year ladies, gentlemen, and first years. Love is in the air, valentines are being sent, and friends are sending dank Valentine’s Day memes to each other. Although the vast majority of us are going to be spending our Valentine’s Day […]
Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Listen, I like breaking social norms as much as the next guy but if we are meeting for the first time and you make no effort to share your social security number with me do not expect me to smile and do the head […]
Hannah Johnson ‘21Egglplant Editor They say studying abroad is a life-changing experience. You become a “citizen of the world” as you embrace an entirely new culture, language, and way of life. Not many dare to take the plunge, but in order to take a peek behind this mystic […]
Dane Anderson ‘20 Returned Sabbatical Writer Jamie Hoag, interim Title IX director, announced today at a press conference in the Rehm Library that Gracie the Public Safety dog will take over the position of Title IX Coordinator. The nationwide search considered many candidates, but the committee ultimately decided […]
Hannah Johnson ‘21 Snowed In Winter break has ended, and I flew back to the motherland not long ago. I braced myself, preparing to face Russia once again, all on my own. I might be the only international student here so far, in the Russian as a Foreign […]
Matt Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor It may seem innocuous. It may even be seen as having a little fun. But a leaked FBI dossier has revealed that shopping at the Holy Cross bookstore supports a vile industry of monopoly and organized crime. “I’ve seen a lot of vile […]
Greg Hausler ‘20 Chief Eggplant Editor Breaking: Father Boroughs has proclaimed that Holy Cross will begin using caucus styled voting to deal with the perpetual bevy of political, social, and environmental issues that arise on THE Mt St. James. For those of you unfamiliar with caucus style voting […]
