Mackenzie Hughes ‘25 Thrilled to be here I have been the most perfect of witnesses. The lies, the thievery, the cheating. Thus, this is unquestionably the finest piece of text ever narrated by a pen. I don’t remember where or when I woke up. All I can recall […]
Michael Vail ‘24 So Long, and Goodnight This is it: the last Spire issue of the semester. And as you all know, it is also the last Spire you will ever see. After December 9, 2022, the Spire will be discontinued. But I didn’t need to tell you […]
Mackenzie Hughes ’25 The person who wrote this article No one had as bad a Thanksgiving as Mike. Poor, poor Mike, whose girlfriend brought him to her house for the holiday. It went as terribly as you can expect a dinner between a white-collar wall street bro and […]
Michael Vail ’24 Might Start a Podcast Welcome to the first edition of Unfocused Group, a novel medium of discussion between the most unlikely collaborators. A typical focus group consists of people from diverse demographics and is used to gauge interest in a product or yield results in […]
Michael Vail ‘24 Fine, I’ll Talk About Politics After a vicious battle between the Republicans and the Democrats on Election Day, incumbent Joe Biden managed to keep his spot in the presidential office. “I was really on my toes for a moment there,” Joe admitted. “But the team […]
Matthew Nickerson ’24 Features Staff Writer Over its one-hundred-and seventy-nine year history, the College of the Holy Cross has been the setting of a wide variety of humorous stories and compelling escapades. There’s the fire that burned Fenwick Hall down in 1852 and nearly shut the entire college […]
Mackenzie Hughes ’25 Someone who gets distracted in class thinking about what gender parts of the cell are If the cell’s powerhouse has any gender, it’s female. The thing that’s responsible for generating most of the chemical energy needed to power the cell’s biomechanical reactions ain’t gonna be […]
Mackenzie Hughes ‘25 Avid Student Because of inflation Half marathons will now be 14 miles We’re gonna have an even bigger freshman class next year The Harry Potter series will now be nine movies Because of inflation Dunkin’ Donuts cup holders will now have five spots for drinks […]
Michael Vail ‘24 Your New Academic Advisor, Because the Other One Told You to Take Orgo, and That’s Not Okay, It’s Borderline Sadistic Yeah, I’ve been around the block a few times. You could say I know the score, the ropes, the ins and outs. Of course selection, […]
Michael Vail ’24 Staff Writer Meet Jim Parent. Loyal crusader since ’63. Bleeding purple each day he lives. He feels refreshed to be back on campus this wonderful Family Weekend. It’s still Friday, so his daughter has yet to return from her seven-hour morning biology lab. With all […]
Julianna Mariani ’24 Roommate Expert I’m lucky enough to have been blessed with the greatest roommates of all time, but what happens when you’re living in close quarters with someone who you consider to be the spawn of Satan? I have heard quite a few horror stories during […]
Michael Vail ‘24 Entomologist I found a mosquito on a windowsill in Kimball today, at coordinates 42.2401347, -71.8083961. Feeling particularly philosophical, I referred to our mission statement in search of guidance. What are our obligations to one another? What is our special responsibility to the world’s poor […]
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