Category: Eggplant

Do Not Pass Woos

Mario Micallef ‘22Big Monopoly Guy Worcester, MA — After devouring a Fluffernutter French toast the size of her own head, a local woman told reporters Sunday that the ATM at Miss Worcester’s diner printed out Monopoly money over the weekend.  “I was freaking out because practically half a loaf […]

Wave Hello!

Julianna Mariani ‘24Chief of Fenway Park If you’ve ever been to an MLB game, you know “The Wave” is a thing. But it’s not just any-thing, it’s the greatest-thing. Personally, I’m mesmerized every single time I experience one. This Saturday was different though. Different because I made it […]

The New Guy On Campus

Julianna Mariani ‘24Antisocial Gal Our first edition of The Spire! Welcome back to The Eggplant! It’s certainly been an eventful two weeks since arriving on campus… a lot has happened thus far… more than I was anticipating anyways. As a sophomore, this is my first official fall on […]

The Sodium Diet

Michael Vail ‘24 Reporter Prodigy, Looking to Serve a Cause Greater Than Himself Hot Dog, 440.3 grams of sodium. 2,446% of daily value. Buffalo Chicken, 802.3 grams of sodium. 4,457% daily value. Pork Ribs, 3,251.1 grams of sodium. 18,062% daily value. All of the above statistics were taken […]

Hybrid

Mario Micallef ‘22Certified Deck-Scrubber “I guess we’ll just have to get used to this.” oozed Professor Diameter with his usual nasally monotone utterance. It was the second class we had in the Fundamentals of Stapling, the first course requirement for the Accounting major, and already there were 5 […]

Shots & Slots

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor [An advertisement on a screen inside the Las Vegas McCarran International Airport plays on a small monitor to the immediate right of an Ellen slot machine next to the Southwest Airlines B23 Gate.]  [For 30 seconds, played on loop, an alluring female voice […]