Tim Elder ’28
Staff Writer
*Written by a Steelers fan.*
Have you noticed that your male classmates seem giddier in class? Have you also noticed that your male classmates seem more academically motivated to participate during class discussion? Well your eyes don’t deceive you. After a recent, and definitely real study, it has been proven that male student happiness index on the Holy Cross campus has increased exponentially in the last few weeks.
Resident Scientists credit this increase in happiness to one man. The man who has single handedly saved the New England Patriots franchise. The one and only Drake “Drake Maye” Maye. Scientists say that although it is speculation as of now, the correlation between Mayes Success and campus morale can’t be disregarded.
A direct example of this is, as Drake Maye’s MVP odds continue to get better and better, Professors noted a significant increase in midterm averages compared to last year when Maye was in his rookie slump.
“Before Drake Maye started to shine, I would never go to class on Mondays, but now I raise my hand so much in class my Professors are asking me if I need letters of recommendation.” a local Senior stated.
This senior isn’t alone when it comes to Drake Maye changing routines.
The campus gym has seen a 40% spike in attendance, with one anonymous sophomore stating, “I just want to look like someone Drake Maye would high-five.”
This study however may be affected by the alarming number of students who happen to be from Massachusetts which in turn makes them Boston sports fans. In response to the Red Sox crushing wild card loss to the Yankees many weeks ago, campus morale was at a near all time low. Nonetheless, it seems that Drake Maye single-handedly filled the emotional void left by Boston sports recent lack of success.
Scientists have begun referring to this phenomenon as “Maye Mania.” This is a condition marked by increased confidence, improved posture, and the sudden belief that the Patriots can win the Super Bowl.
Could this all just be one big coincidence? Absolutely, but at least one Massachusetts football team is doing its part to keep campus morale alive.
Featured image courtesy of Evan Bernstein of Getty Images
Copy Edited by Sabine Hinkaty ’26
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