Category: Eggplant

The Mitochondria is a Woman

Mackenzie Hughes ’25 Someone who gets distracted in class thinking about what gender parts of the cell are If the cell’s powerhouse has any gender, it’s female. The thing that’s responsible for generating most of the chemical energy needed to power the cell’s biomechanical reactions ain’t gonna be […]

Because of Inflation

Mackenzie Hughes ‘25  Avid Student Because of inflation  Half marathons will now be 14 miles We’re gonna have an even bigger freshman class next year The Harry Potter series will now be nine movies  Because of inflation  Dunkin’ Donuts cup holders will now have five spots for drinks […]

The Holy Cross Mission

Michael Vail ‘24 Entomologist      I found a mosquito on a windowsill in Kimball today, at coordinates 42.2401347, -71.8083961. Feeling particularly philosophical, I referred to our mission statement in search of guidance.      What are our obligations to one another? What is our special responsibility to the world’s poor […]


Michael Vail ‘24 Observational Scientist As human beings, like any other creatures, we are designed to evolve. That’s what Darwin said just before he discovered gravity. Think about how easy it is to close your eyelids. We do it tens of thousands of times per day. That’s because […]