Michael Vail ‘24Self-Appointed Distributor of Thoughts “This fire hydrant is raised slightly above the ground. And this one is halfway-buried. This third one, however, is perfectly level. Why were they designed this way?” – KEVIN “Where did the cinnamon toast crunch go?” – David ‘22 “Over these past […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24Events Planner Extraordinaire -buy them a Cool Beans milkshake—provided you’ve got some dining dollars left -give them a tour of your dorm room. Warning: this will only take up about five minutes of time -sneak them into Kimby: proceed with caution -give them a tour of […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Hard News Guy Professor gives her class a pop quiz because, “You all decided you could pull hooky for an entire week. Not on my watch.” First-year seen crawling on top of the Kimball roof looking for what his senior teammate called ‘Upper, Upper Kimball.’ […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24 A Pretty Pessimistic Chief Congratulations, guys, we made it through the week! TGIF. To be honest with you, I don’t know how I did and I’m feeling pretty on top of the world. Fall break is fantastic, don’t get me wrong, but it’s so weird. […]
Brian Saville ‘22 Tostitos Major, Gatorade Minor Life on the College of the Holy Cross campus as you know it will soon look a bit more… bubbly. Last Wednesday, in an email with the subject line “Please Actually Read This One I Am Literally Begging You ❤ ❤ […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Has all the tea College of the Holy Cross, Worcester, MA Senior falls asleep in class only to wake up as a Sophomore in March 2020. Uber-Eats driver leaves a cold, mediocre, & slightly incorrect order at Hogan 3, but returns for it 2 minutes later […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24 Chief of Being Desperate For Fall Break Go apple picking: don’t eat the ones off the ground Attend the fall concert – it’s today! get pumped! Go costume shopping: buy seven for the inevitable week of Halloween that will last on this campus Wear pink […]
Michael Vail ‘24 Wants to Get Serious for a Moment, Please …that I was disturbed, horrified by the rancid gust within That I was anxious, hesitant to approach that field of sin (Though it has been worse.) But also to make clear that I was taken back, quite […]
Michael Vail ‘24 I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map! I’ve gotten a lot of questions about College of the Holy Cross’ prestigious Integrated Science Complex. Students across campus love the complex; many love it for its architecture, others enjoy […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Big Monopoly Guy Worcester, MA — After devouring a Fluffernutter French toast the size of her own head, a local woman told reporters Sunday that the ATM at Miss Worcester’s diner printed out Monopoly money over the weekend. “I was freaking out because practically half a loaf […]
Brian Saville ‘22 Wishes his name were Jack right now After appearing as a guest writer for the Eggplant several times last semester, I was delighted that you all thought I was funny enough to take on a staff writer position this year. I was going to open […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24Chief of Fenway Park If you’ve ever been to an MLB game, you know “The Wave” is a thing. But it’s not just any-thing, it’s the greatest-thing. Personally, I’m mesmerized every single time I experience one. This Saturday was different though. Different because I made it […]
