Michael Vail ‘24Walked Through the Park Today Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?No, autumn days are nothing like you. For you are a bird, and an autumn day is a construct. What a silly comparison. And I’m not that vain; these words will not last. I […]
Mario Micallef ‘22 A senior questions whether it’s too late to attend culinary school after successfully following the instructions to a Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie recipe. A sophomore, acting like a cool bean in Cool Beans, accidentally blew on his donut instead of the hot coffee in his […]
Mario Micallef ‘22 Eggplant Editor It’s true. I did. His name was Rodrigo and he was terrific. More specifically he was an iguana. Oh, how I miss him so. I had just flown in. I had a 24 hour layover. It was about 6:30. The sun was on […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24 Chief Eggplant Editor They say time flies when you’re having fun. If that’s true, then how come it feels like I just walked into Wheeler for the first time two weeks ago? I’m kidding. College is the time of my life. For sure. Yeah. I […]
Michael Vail ‘24 Talented Teller of Tall Tales Oct. 23, 2021, 9:30 p.m. The height of the inauguration celebration on the Kimball Quad. Students enjoy the hustle and bustle of the celebration. We open with the gamblin’ man… I twiddled the chip between my fingers, lowering the brim […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24 The Group Chat Well, here it is folks. Halloweekend has finally arrived. Ironic how Oct. 31 falls on the scariest day, huh? The Sunday scaries are going to be doubled this week. I mean, whose idea of a sick joke was that? Making Halloween on […]
Mario Micallef ‘22 Chief Editor A senior nearly faints from sheer bliss after noticing the giant painting in the lobby of Stein for the first time. Dead sparrows have been seen in droves all over campus, assisting in the Kimball chicken shortage. Anonymous student removes the flesh tail […]
Michael Vail ‘24Self-Appointed Distributor of Thoughts “This fire hydrant is raised slightly above the ground. And this one is halfway-buried. This third one, however, is perfectly level. Why were they designed this way?” – KEVIN “Where did the cinnamon toast crunch go?” – David ‘22 “Over these past […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24Events Planner Extraordinaire -buy them a Cool Beans milkshake—provided you’ve got some dining dollars left -give them a tour of your dorm room. Warning: this will only take up about five minutes of time -sneak them into Kimby: proceed with caution -give them a tour of […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Hard News Guy Professor gives her class a pop quiz because, “You all decided you could pull hooky for an entire week. Not on my watch.” First-year seen crawling on top of the Kimball roof looking for what his senior teammate called ‘Upper, Upper Kimball.’ […]
Julianna Mariani ‘24 A Pretty Pessimistic Chief Congratulations, guys, we made it through the week! TGIF. To be honest with you, I don’t know how I did and I’m feeling pretty on top of the world. Fall break is fantastic, don’t get me wrong, but it’s so weird. […]
Mario Micallef ‘22Has all the tea College of the Holy Cross, Worcester, MA Senior falls asleep in class only to wake up as a Sophomore in March 2020. Uber-Eats driver leaves a cold, mediocre, & slightly incorrect order at Hogan 3, but returns for it 2 minutes later […]