Category: Eggplant

Officer Gracie Elected SGA President

Jocelyn Buggy ‘22 Carole Baskin fed her husband to a tiger On Wednesday, April 1, election results revealed that Officer Gracie of the Dept. of Public Safety was voted Student Government Association President.  The two-year-old Goldendoodle received over 99% of the vote after a month-long campaign. An outspoken […]

News in Brief

Eggplant Staff, but mostly Hannah Johnson ’21 J.D. Power™ Survey Proves that Number of Stairs at Holy Cross Increases by 10% Annually Fr. Boroughs Announces New Academic and Departmental Awards: Most Office Hours Visited, Closest to Failing but Managed to Pass, and Most Money Spent Online Shopping during […]

Fashionable Face Mask Alternatives

Kelly Gallagher ’22A Rising Miranda Priestly Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. The health care system is struggling to stay on top of the coronavirus pandemic, and one of their most pressing problems is the face mask shortage. It’s […]

Donut King

Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. [8:30 a.m., Rolla, Missouri, Donut King] [Michael and Amanda, sent home from college in Massachusetts due to the coronavirus, walk into a donut shop midway through their trek across […]

Spire Updated Editorial Board

We have recently made some adjustments to our editorial board staff positions. Please take note of these important changes. Jackie Cannon, Billy Fitzpatrick Still hiding in Hogan 235 Ethan Bachand, Jocelyn Buggy, Davey Sullivan Just wanted to be on the front page Olivia Pan, Maggie Connolly, Ryen Cinski, […]

The Lot: In Memoriam

Matt Anderson ’21Known to Lot-Goers as “Matty Ice” Everyone should remember their first time. I know I do. A timid first-year, I looked both ways before crossing College Street. Little did I know venturing into a busy road was far safer than my final destination… Catalina. Soon enough […]