Amsden Klinghard ‘27
Water Correspondent
“If you tap on the glass, the sharks might look at you”
– MJ Lenderman
We at the Spire are proud to announce our newest feature: we will be adding our very own drop of water to the Atlantic ocean. We hope our bead of moisture will revolutionize the Spire’s reach as a news source, particularly to the shark population.
Our water project builds upon the release of the Spire’s social media initiative, “Breaking News”, in which the Spire posts short-form news stories on Instagram. With these two projects, Holy Cross’ most popular student newspaper cements itself as a source of things that there are already more than enough of. We’re hoping for our impact to be a little more indistinguishable, both by posting news stories you’ve already seen somewhere else, and by topping off the briny deep.
The ocean really needs another drop of water in the same way that today’s oversaturated social media really needs just one more short-form announcement that, for instance, the Seahawks won the Super Bowl this year.
Our critics worry that our drop will instantly get lost in the 175 quintillion gallons of water already in the ocean, just like the “Breaking News” posts in the endless cesspool of content already on Instagram. But we ultimately need to blindly conform to – I mean, keep up with – the fast pace of the modern news ocean, with currents moving faster and faster. Also, with the ocean becoming more and more contaminated these days (where do you think all the fish pee goes?), it’s important that the Spire is a source of cleaner, less polarized water via our drop.
Still, details still need to be ironed out before the drop can be added: there have been concerns about contributing to rising sea levels, as well as a heated debate between lemon water from Kimball or bottled water from the lobby shop. But if drop development can pull through by the summer, we’re hoping for a Spire beach trip to deliver our aqueous globule to its new home. I have my bathing suit ready!
Note to editors: I’m just a freshman!
Featured image courtesy of Science Photo Library
Copy edited by Sophia Mariani ’26
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