Finn Ryan ‘29
Academy Member
“Do you think Timmy’s gonna get his first?”
“I already know they’re gonna snub ‘Sinners’ HARD this year”
“Whatever but if Jacob Elordi wins I’m gonna flip out”
These are the types of statements that’ve been pouring nonstop from the mouth of local man Benny Penn over the last three weeks. Since the nominations were announced in late January, the flow of each of his conservations somehow seems to find its way back to awards season no matter how hard everyone else tries to stop him.
“I guess we know who the actually talented Safdie brother was now”
“Dude I’m still mad about Adrien Brody using AI and winning”
“‘Train Dreams’ is literally Oscar bait lil bro”
His friends, sick of hearing about PTA and GDT and OBAA without having a clue what they mean, resorted to making a secret second group chat without him. “Don’t get me wrong, I like movies,” Benny’s pal Marty Stein had to say. “I mean, I saw ‘Revenge of the Sith’ when they brought it back to theaters last year, but it gets to a point. He won’t stop saying ‘you like black girls?’ then giggling like it’s the funniest thing in the world.” Another of Benny’s friends, who only saw “Zootopia 2” this year because his girlfriend dragged him to it, was quoted as saying, “I just don’t care. I don’t know what a Bugonia is and I don’t wanna find out.”
“They just don’t understand.” Benny had to say for himself. “They’re all normie filmbros who probably think ‘Fight Club’ is the greatest movie ever made. What’s that? You’re asking who I think will win best actress? Uhhh… is Meryl Streep nominated this year?”
Featured image courtesy of Getty Images
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