Charlottius MacQuatticus ’28
Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur
As every other grade spent their weekend diligently studying in Dinand and attending Bible study at Weagle Chapel, sophomores across campus sat refreshing their emails day and night, anxiously awaiting their study abroad decisions. Spanish students crossed their fingers in hopes that they could finally walk the streets of Barthelona, Econ majors practiced their English accents to show off at LSE, and everyone with an Irish great great great great aunt twice removed was eager to go “home” to Dublin. But as University of St. Andrews applicants rewatched Shrek to acclimate to Scottish culture and the Class of 2028 rejoiced for getting their top choices, one student was disappointed by her program placement. As a Classics major, Julie Seezar was hoping to go to Rome. “They said the program was full for Spring 2027, so I figured they would give me my second choice in Athens,” Julie tells the Eggplant. “Instead, they told me I’d be going to Rome for spring 127 AD.”
Classics Professor R. E. Stotle says the department is piloting a new immersion program at Universitas Imperii Romani that allows students to literally travel back in time to the Pax Romana and study classics straight from the source. Classes offered include philosophy, chariot racing, and gladiator training. Classes on politics also have CBL components, such as attending to the city’s poor and feeding dissidents and heretics to the lions. A few students accepted to the program expressed concerns about the whole “Christians being killed in the Colosseum” thing, but the Study Abroad office assures us that martyrdom is not covered by travel insurance and any injuries and/or old-timey diseases that students may get are not the responsibility of the College.
In preparation for study abroad, the Classics Department is hosting a toga sale for students wishing to assimilate to their new homes in Rome or recreate the glory of Delta Tau Chi. Professors also held a class on proper toga techniques for the less cultured students. The Eggplant tried to get there, but we were too tied up. The toga trend has now spread across campus, despite the best efforts of PubSafe and that dress code we apparently have. Though the Men’s Lacrosse Team insists they were the first to bring back Roman trends. “We’ve been wearing sandals for years!” says Captain Liam St. John. And they’re not the only ones. Rumor has it that NROTC is planning on adding plumed helmets and bronze armor to their uniform to, “serve looks and the country,” according to sources.
Bon voyage to our time travelers and remember: when in Rome, it wasn’t built in a day. Good luck without modern medicine and vade cruce vade!
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