Category: Eggplant

Shots & Slots

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor [An advertisement on a screen inside the Las Vegas McCarran International Airport plays on a small monitor to the immediate right of an Ellen slot machine next to the Southwest Airlines B23 Gate.]  [For 30 seconds, played on loop, an alluring female voice […]

Nasty Nineteen

Julianna Mariani ‘24 Eggplant Editor So, fun fact, my nineteenth birthday was last Friday. Taurus season baby! The only thing I know about astrology is that that means I’m stubborn and trustworthy. Actually, that’s not even true because I had to look those up. Anyway… I had a […]

Job Posting – All Students Eligible!

Michael Vail ‘24 Trustworthy Employer Position Title: Professional college essay writer Start Date: ASAP Hours: Depends on your typing speed. Pay rate: I can give you like $80 in dining dollars. Background check?: I don’t care how many felonies you’ve committed, as long as you can write. Number […]

Sermon on the Ground

Mario Micallef ‘22 Eggplant Editor Hello (I am sitting on the ground, no, I’m laying on the hardwood floor. I don’t know why I lied right there. Maybe it was internal shame. Yes, in fact, it was. But I have to speak now. The ants coming off my […]

Blossoming Thoughts

Julianna Mariani ’24 Eggplant Editor As many people know, the freshmen here at the College of the Holy Cross have to take a Montserrat course. During the summer enrollment process, all of us freshies had to choose six different Montserrat courses that we would be willing to take […]

An Untimely Fall

Julianna Mariani ‘24 Eggplant Editor For this week’s Spire article, I had the pleasure of interviewing a College of the Holy Cross freshman who recently had an untimely encounter with the steps of Clark. Sandra Der was on her way to her only in-person class of the semester […]

Krispy Vaccine

Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor [Krispy Kreme Drive-Thru, Conway Arkansas, 5:35 A.M.] [A tan 1999 Toyota Celica pulls up in front of a green and red picture menu display and speaker.] Woman In Speaker: Hi there! Good Morning! Welcome to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts!! My name’s Patty. How may […]