ploɯ ǝɥʇ ʞɐǝɹq sɹɐʇs ƃuᴉʇooɥs ʎluO ploƃ sᴉ sɹǝʇʇᴉlƃ ʇɐɥʇ llɐ pu∀ ploɯ ǝɥʇ ʞɐǝɹq sɹɐʇs ƃuᴉʇooɥs ʎluO ploƃ sᴉ sɹǝʇʇᴉlƃ ʇɐɥʇ llɐ pu∀ pᴉɐd ʇǝƃ ‘uo ʍoɥs ǝɥʇ ʇǝƃ ‘ɹɐʇs ʞɔoɹ ɐ ǝɹ,noʎ ‘ʍou ʎǝH ʎɐld oƃ ‘uo ǝɯɐƃ ɹnoʎ ʇǝƃ ‘ɹɐʇs-llɐ uɐ ǝɹ,noʎ ‘ʍou ʎǝH ʍolƃ […]
Kelly Gallagher ’22 Highbrow Anyone who has ever claimed a degree in English is good for nothing can take a seat now. The Holy Cross English Department has announced an exciting new initiative in order to renew appreciation of the major – Drunk Shakespeare. The program is inspired […]
Mama Juana On Campus Student Holy Cross is currently facing a housing crisis. The incoming class sizes have been unprecedentedly large for the past few years, and now the College is struggling to provide housing for their students. However, the College has seemed to find a solution. In […]
Liam Prendergast ’19 Unemployed Keeping with Holy Cross’ mission to prepare students for a life beyond the Hill, the Pre-Business program has added cocaine to its list of requirements to obtain their official certificate. This bold move places graduating Crusaders in an ideal position to succeed in the […]
Mario Micallef ’22 Eggplant Editor New England’s Largest Furniture store ‘Rotmans’ claims that they have been robbed. We sent our top reporter to get some information on the case. Tomisthe TheifJones spoke with the manager of Rotman’s to get her take on the matter: Tomisthe TheifJones: Hello. You […]
William and Johnson Browser Toboggan Champs Colleges of the Worcester Consortium have been forced year after year to close facilities and cancel classes due to inclement weather. But, this academic year might be the exception. Minimal snowfall has occurred and it doesn’t look like that is going to […]
Jeve Stobs Broke Have you or a loved one been negatively affected by the recent outbreak of AIRPODs on campus? You may be entitled to financial compensation, because those people cannot hear broke. With the start of the spring semester, it seems as though every single person on […]
Mango Cherry Bliss The Forgotten Flavor In what could be called the most unfair situation of the 2018-2019 academic school year at the College of the Holy Cross, a junior’s supply of Polar Seltzer Summer Edition Flavors has dropped dangerously low, clocking it at only 64 crates. Few […]
Mario Micallef Yes it is true, I am the hill. Go ahead; continue to use and abuse me while reading this message. Every minute of every day your various feet have the nerve to stomp on my heart and dreams; I come with a warning. All of you […]
Scramble, Sr. Can Be Found in Drunk Tank by 8pm With just under 48 hours to go until the Holy Cross Class of 2019’s 100 Days Ball, one senior has just put the finishing touches on her carefully crafted and highly selective 100 Days Ball “kiss list”. According […]
College of the Holy Cross campus made an unprecedented advance this past month when a student openly declared that he was straight. Although he felt comfortable sharing his identity with me and a few other people in Cool Beans, he requested that I would not include his name […]
The Holy Cross Marketing Team Meet-and-greet Planners Today, members of the Holy Cross student body lined the hallway outside Father Boroughs’s office for the sole purpose of letting him know what a great job he’s doing. They held signs and cheered every time he walked out of his […]
