Tim Elder ’28
Staff Writer
After only a month in retirement from a definite hall of fame career, Holy Cross’ very own hallway trash cans are being called upon to come out of retirement. Students claim the ongoing trash can controversy is bleeding into the classroom, with missed assignments and late arrivals blamed on the constant distraction.
The bathroom garbages have stepped into the starting role but have struggled mightily allowing a 74% overflow rate compared to hallway garbages 34% last season. When faced with the weekend upturn in doordash and uber eats orders, the bathroom garbage coverage stats keep reaching record highs with a 91% overflow rate.
The organization feels that trash cans themselves are not totally to blame for this wild turn of events in campus waste management. Students are shown to be shooting an abysmal 35% shooting accuracy. This has led to an average 13.2 Croads bowls on the floor per week, a 3.4 bowl increase from last season. Students and the bathroom trash cans can’t seem to play complimentary waste management at this time.
Despite students feeling the lack of personnel on the field is the issue, the organization keeps the blame on the students. This has led to an uptick in floor meetings causing a divide in the dorm halls. It seems the organization is not eager to make the call to the Hallway trash cans at this time. However as time goes on they might not have any other options.
As the hallway trash cans face mounting pressure of doing their best impression of Tom Brady, and the bathroom bins refuse to step up, it seems these are the only statistics Holy Cross students are keeping track of with the football team still looking for their first win.
During the 1987 season of the National Football League, a players’ strike lasted 24 days. Could the students enact something similar? Only time will tell.
Featured image courtesy of The New York Times
Copy Edited by Sophia Mariani ’26
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