Kathryn Pellicotte ‘29
Staff Writer
A True Miracle… Sort Of
On the dreary morning of Oct. 20th, while students were just forcing themselves out of bed and preparing to trudge to class through a nasty spell of pouring rain, a miracle occurred. Canvas (Class Assignments Needing Vigorous Attentive Study) decided to go on strike. When asked to explain its motive, Canvas expressed feeling frustrated with the lack of student respect and appreciation. The platform explained how its mental health has been in a state of decline as it is constantly greeted by annoyed, sleep deprived students. Thus, going offline seemed to be the only reasonable solution.
For most students, this outage was like an early Christmas gift complete with the happy certainty that the burden of schoolwork was inaccessible and therefore, completely off the agenda. The work ethic and motivation that had been tossed out the window over break was now shattering the newly installed studious glass with great fervor and excitement. Although classes were still in session, it felt as if another day of break had been bestowed upon us. New possibilities pulsed through the air and nothing, not even the grey skies and pouring rain, could break our stride nor slow us down. It was almost too good to be true, and that terrible gut feeling that our happiness would be short-lived was unfortunately correct.
At exactly 7:22 pm, Information Technology Services issued an email bearing the news: the technological issues were resolved and the strike was over. Hip Hip…Hooray? It should be noted that a few students have come forward to express their happiness at the revivement of Canvas. “I usually do all of my assignments thirty minutes before class,” said first-year Archibald Trottbacker. “You can’t imagine how utterly horrified I was when I opened Canvas and was met with that weird rocket ship and a statement that the platform was having issues. I was immediately annoyed because you know what, we’re ALL having issues here man! Yeah, and I don’t see any of us shutting down and neglecting our duties! It just burdened me with some real suffocating stress, not being able to access my readings and all.” In the end, our beloved Canvas was restored to its original glory, undermining students’ excuse-filled emails of why they were unable to complete their assignments or be prepared for class. Of course, there is always the argument that we had an entire week to start our work, but that would require changing the name of Fall Break to Fall Brea…GOTCHA!STILL.SCHOOL. *evil laugh* Personally, I think the current name has a more simple and restful ring to it.
Copy edited by Sophia Mariani ’26
Featured image courtesy of Lawson State Community College
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