Tag: Matt Anderson
-
Thank You from the Editors
Kelly Gallagher ‘22 & Matt Anderson ‘21 Editors-in-Chief As we edit our last edition of The Spire as Editors-in-Chief, we’ve been looking back on our time here and thinking about our team’s hard work over the past two semesters. It goes without saying that this year has presented unorthodox challenges…
-
10 Amazing Things To Do With Your Holy Cross Lawn Chair
Matthew Anderson ‘21 Has the Makings of a Varsity Athlete Sometimes real-life events are stranger than anything we can come up with here at The Eggplant. According to a survey by J.D. Power, last month, Holy Cross became the second-largest furniture retailer in the nation (behind Ashley Furniture Home Stores)…
-
First-Years Who Would Have Been Transported on First Weekend Sad They’ll Still be Missing the “True College Experience” this Semester
Matt Anderson ’21 2017 Brooks-Mulledy Flood Survivor; 2018 Brooks Hall Fire Denier For many of today’s youth, at least before the pandemic, the first year at College is a right of passage. It’s part of a brief flicker of time where it’s socially acceptable for students to crush a keg…
-
HC Remote Semester Bingo (on-campus edition)
Matt Anderson ’21 Big Board Guy Featured image by Hui Li ’21.
-
“No ❤️ 😜,” Says Holy Cross Administration to Struggling Students Seeking Aid
Matthew Anderson ‘21 Guy Who Knew Exactly What He Was Signing Up For Holy Cross students woke up this morning to the long-overdue response by college administrators to the online petition made a month ago to institute pass/no pass this semester. For those who didn’t read the email, the Eggplant…
-
Spooky Scary Halloween Public Safety Blotters
As Holy Cross students celebrate Halloween remotely this year, The Spire asked students to submit the strangest and spookiest sights one might report on the Hill. Thank you to all of our contributors for submitting your imaginative public safety blotters to our contest! We are pleased to award bragging rights…
-
“Make Sure to Carve Out Some Time for Yourself”
Matthew Anderson ‘21 Polemicist Perhaps the most important discovery by certain Faculty and Administrators this semester at the College of the Holy Cross is that, by acknowledging how unorthodox this semester is, or by admitting the unique challenges it presents, it becomes permissible to assign the same amount of–or more–…
-
Father Boroughs Talks Faith
Matt Anderson ‘21 Big Music Guy PSA: This article was written well before Father Buroughs announced he would be stepping down in June. We wish him good luck in the future, and want to thank him for his grace and his position, and to apologize for him having to put…
-
Welcoming Letter from the Editors
Dear Holy Cross Community, The Spire is so excited to be back with you for the Fall 2020 semester. Holy Cross is a community dispersed, but thanks to the creativity and resilience of our individual members, we’ve still found ways to continue fostering our connections. We’re still an active community,…
-
Finals Advice in the Shape of a Thank You
Matt Anderson ‘21Part-Time Tyrant Although J.D. Power and Associates™ ranked The Eggplant as the nation’s most trustworthy publication named after a fruit or vegetable, it may distress our hordes of dedicated readers – who depend upon our column for the current goings-on at Mount St. James – that many of…
-
Holy Cross Junior Uses Google Streetview™ to Combat Cabin Fever
Matt Anderson ‘21 Award-Winning Holy Cross Choir Roadie Back in 2007, Google™ embarked on an ambitious project, one that would see every one of your ex’s homes photographed. This culminated in what we now call Google Streetview™. Now, in 2020, in a fit of genius as well as desperation, Imma…
-
Holy Cross Junior Uses Google Streetview™ to Combat Cabin Fever
Matt Anderson ‘21 Award-Winning Holy Cross Choir Roadie One Holy Cross Junior has resorted to desperate measures to remain connected to the Holy Cross community. Photo courtesy of Father Boroughs. Back in 2007, Google™ embarked on an ambitious project, one that would see every one of your ex’s homes photographed.…
-
Holy Cross Cracks Down on Unruly Online Sports Houses
Matt Anderson ‘21 Still hiding on campus WORCESTER, MA– The College of the Holy Cross, now fully transitioned to online distance learning, has issued a stern disciplinary warning to the members of Caro, Boyden, and College streets, who have since formed an online presence over the remote conferencing service Zoom.…
-
The Lot: In Memoriam
Matt Anderson ’21Known to Lot-Goers as “Matty Ice” Everyone should remember their first time. I know I do. A timid first-year, I looked both ways before crossing College Street. Little did I know venturing into a busy road was far safer than my final destination… Catalina. Soon enough I arrived…
-
Student Unsure How to Ask if Person in Next Stall Alive or Not
Matt Anderson ‘21 Genuinely Concerned In an impromptu interview conducted in an Alumni bathroom this weekend, a first-year student, Ivan Ichianus ‘23, expressed concern that the person in the stall next to them may be in dire straits. “He’s been there every time I’ve gone to pee. I didn’t realize the…
-
Valentine’s Day Tips from Father Boroughs
Matt Anderson ‘21Chief Eggplant Editor Attached below is a copy of Father Boroughs’ Valentine’s Day email draft leaked to The Eggplant. Dear Members of the Campus Community, As we begin what feels like a particularly busy Spring semester, I want to wish you and your classmates a joyous and holy…
-
Scandal in Holy Cross Bookstore
Matt Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor It may seem innocuous. It may even be seen as having a little fun. But a leaked FBI dossier has revealed that shopping at the Holy Cross bookstore supports a vile industry of monopoly and organized crime. “I’ve seen a lot of vile stuff in…
-
A Tale of Two Trees
Matt Anderson ‘21 Big Christmas Guy As finals draw closer and most Holy Cross students teeter the line between ingesting lethal levels of caffeine and having a mental breakdown, a holiday mania has also begun to sweep campus. Trees, tinsel, and Mariah Carey have infiltrated every facet of daily life…
-
Stolen Time
Matthew Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor Something felt wrong the morning after the time change. At first, I chalked it up to the questionable choice of trusting a Kimball sausage patty. However sitting in Stein, as I emerged from a vivid daydream to look at the time, I was horrified to…
-
STAR to Celebrate its Seventy-Fifth Anniversary
By Matt Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor Coming off of Holy Cross’ dodransbicentennial milestone (that’s classics for 175), many have overlooked that another beloved fixture of the college is experiencing its own anniversary. The student academic records system, or, as it is more affectionately known, “STAR,” has just turned 75! This may…
-
Opinions: Popcorn Tuesday Rated
Matthew Anderson ‘21 Eggplant Editor Hogan— Though it is a weekly event, and many have heard of it, few have actually partaken in Popcorn Tuesday. While it fills Hogan with a pleasing smell, most people simply don’t want to seek it out. Have you gone to it? “I was just…
-
First-Years Horrified to Find Bubly and not La Croix in Lower Kimball
Matt Anderson ’21Eggplant Editor Note: This article appears in The Spire’s satire section, The Eggplant. As they arrive on the Hill, many first-years must come to terms with the fact that their romantic notions of the college experience are, in fact, a fantasy. Although James McDavid ‘23 was disappointed that…
-
Conspiracy Theorists Insist Ciampi Hall Not Real
By Matt Anderson ’21Ciampi Truther It looked to be a normal day. The weather was fair and I was traveling to Cool Beans to interview a fellow student who had reached out. “I mean have you ever been inside it? Ciampi Hall I mean,” blurted the student, who introduced himself…
-
‘Saders Talk Secession as Massachusetts Bans Vaping
By Matt Anderson ’21Eggplant Editor On September 24, 2019, Governor Charlie Baker issued an order that sales of all vaping products be prohibited for the duration of four months. The response from the Holy Cross community was immediate and vicious. You see, much like shotgunning White Claws and going to…
-
Lower Kimball Still a Treasure Hidden from Most First-Years, Study Shows
By Matt Anderson ’21Eggplant Editor and Fearful Junior Most of us who have lived on the Hill have felt it: the worry that something you love has been found by unworthy hands. You see it when an upper-class student takes the stairway beside Kimball, glancing behind them nervously to scan…