Stolen Time

Matthew Anderson ‘21

Eggplant Editor

Something felt wrong the morning after the time change. At first, I chalked it up to the questionable choice of trusting a Kimball sausage patty. However sitting in Stein, as I emerged from a vivid daydream to look at the time, I was horrified to see the void staring back. The proud analog clocks of Holy Cross had been ripped from the wall. 

As class ended (but how did the professor know it had?!) I ran. Growing paler, I tore through the rooms of Stein. Every single one was the same, the holes where the clocks used to be sat in mockery, their wires exposed. My sources in Swords reported the same was true in the land of STEM. 

Sweating, I burst through the exit, worried to even look, I slowly moved my head in the direction of O’Kane. Thankfully those animals had not yet stolen the clock tower. And I was finally able to get the time. It was 10:57, approximately four hours since the theft.  

Who has stolen Holy Cross’ clocks no one can say. The O’Kane Gazette conspiratorially claims that since their symbol is the clock tower, the theft of the clocks is a clear threat from the administration to silence them. Others say it was Paula from Dining Services, who was just so tired of the long lines in Kimball as the classes all got out at the same time. By taking the clocks, the waves will come in more staggered. Finally, the majority of students blame the athletes of the Holy Cross ultimate frisbee team as it is assumed they mixed up the clocks with frisbees and ripped them out of the walls to play a quick game of disc. Ultimately, however, we may never know what happened to the clocks of Holy Cross. We’re living in stolen time.

Categories: Eggplant

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