Nicole Letendre ‘23

Chief Features Editor

In preparation for the coming spring and summer months, the Holy Cross administration has decided to begin work on a new project—one that will surely rival the new performing arts center or even the townhouses. As many of us know, Holy Cross rests on quite a steep hill, and in the hot months, it only gets worse. To solve that problem and incentivize students to stay hydrated, a team of 100 workers are scheduled to begin construction on a 3,000 ft long, 40 ft high waterslide running from the Hart Center down to Kimball Dining Hall. This jumbo-sized waterslide will require 660,000 gallons of water to function at its intended capacity. Students are being encouraged to purchase floaties for this new transportation option, and CAB is holding a summer “kick-off spectacular” on May 10^th, during which they will be handing out purple wetsuits featuring the Holy Cross emblem. The first 50 people will also receive swim caps with the slogan “I show my Purple Pride on the Water Slide.” Signups on MyHC are now open, but tickets are selling fast! We asked a few students their thoughts on this new project. One sophomore commented “This is a fantastic idea! I’ve already Amazon-ed my water-proof backpack.” Her excitement couldn’t be contained. One senior says he even has plans of living on the waterslide, he loves it so much. But no need to worry about the water usage; all the water will be directly recycled into the Kimball dishwashers, as students will be dropped off onto the quad. Want to go from Brooks to Stein? Not a problem! This new project will include offshoots akin to highway exits. Simply lean your body in the direction you want to veer! The Jo will be offering surfing and boogie-boarding classes for those who prefer that option. Safety is our #1 priority. At each location, lifeguards will man the slide, watching over their fellow students as they zoom by at speeds of up to 40mph. Students, staff, and faculty are all excited about this new development. It’s safe to say that this new project is making waves across the community. There’s even word that other Worcester colleges are considering this for their own campuses…

Featured image courtesy of Nicole Letendre ’23