The student newspaper of the College of the Holy Cross since 1925
Nicole Letendre ’23Features Editor Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, which features exclusively satire articles. Why pick just one or two majors? It’s a question that’s been haunting me for years and years. I could never quite narrow it down enough. My mind was […]
We have recently made some adjustments to our editorial board staff positions. Please take note of these important changes. Jackie Cannon, Billy Fitzpatrick Still hiding in Hogan 235 Ethan Bachand, Jocelyn Buggy, Davey Sullivan Just wanted to be on the front page Olivia Pan, Maggie Connolly, Ryen Cinski, […]
Jackie Cannon ’20 Social Distancing Expert (AKA Hardcore Introvert) Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. In a recent poll undertaken by The Eggplant’s research division, Holy Cross students weighed in on how they’re responding to social distancing. Biology: “Would […]
Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. [8:30 a.m., Rolla, Missouri, Donut King] [Michael and Amanda, sent home from college in Massachusetts due to the coronavirus, walk into a donut shop midway through their trek across […]
Kelly Gallagher ’22Chief Features Editor Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. Name: Odie Hometown: The woods behind Figge Major: Aromatherapy Campus Activities: Joining the RAs on their nighttime rounds, dumpster diving, perfuming Favorite Movie: “Swamp Thing” Favorite song: “Smells […]
Grace Bromage ’23Features Editor, Trained in Psychology* Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. Is the teacher who didn’t know how to play a YouTube video four weeks ago struggling to hold classes online? Has your internet been slow and […]
Kelly Gallagher ’22A Rising Miranda Priestly Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. The health care system is struggling to stay on top of the coronavirus pandemic, and one of their most pressing problems is the face mask shortage. It’s […]
Hui Li ’21 and Kim Fetherston ’22 This kept them busy
Eggplant Staff, but mostly Hannah Johnson ’21 J.D. Power™ Survey Proves that Number of Stairs at Holy Cross Increases by 10% Annually Fr. Boroughs Announces New Academic and Departmental Awards: Most Office Hours Visited, Closest to Failing but Managed to Pass, and Most Money Spent Online Shopping during […]
Jocelyn Buggy ‘22 Carole Baskin fed her husband to a tiger On Wednesday, April 1, election results revealed that Officer Gracie of the Dept. of Public Safety was voted Student Government Association President. The two-year-old Goldendoodle received over 99% of the vote after a month-long campaign. An outspoken […]
Greg Hausler ‘20 Eggplant Editor/Gamer Breaking: The Eggplant has obtained records of a Holy Cross student requesting an extension on all assignments due to injury. While this seems like common procedure, our sources have leaked to us that this story is the first of its kind but signifies […]
Ethan Bachand ’22 Rehm Talk Specialist Despite the announcement being kept secret, the College of the Holy Cross is set to build escalators all over campus in an attempt to eliminate stairs. With students currently off campus, the project is expected to be completed by next semester. In […]
