Eggplant

I Write One Eggplant Article a Year. Here is the Third One.

Dennis Liu ’22

Staff Writer

Every Wednesday, for the past two-three years, I would open the Eggplant email. And I would read it. And I just would not do anything. I am not a good writer. I am not disciplined. I am definitely not a good student, so schoolwork as an excuse does not work for me. 75+ weeks of emails asking for Eggplant contributions and I just would not budge.

Except for TWO dates. One was in April of 2019. A tornado hit Worcester. It was a big deal. Imagine Holy Cross initiating an impromptu lockdown for 2 hours. Could you imagine them doing it for any longer than that? Anyway, my very first contribution to the Spire, our flagship student newspaper, one that serious student writers, I presume, take the articles they have written and put them on their portfolios, was a 300-word fluff piece (fluff is actually generous; garbage is appropriate) on a tornado. Time well-spent, idiot. 

The other article was in October of 2020. I remember a lot of articles at the time harping on different departments in the College, venting frustrations towards the system (actually that is still happening. Whoops). Even if I did not agree with every article personally, I thought some of them were well-written and had some thought and care put into them. I am able to recognize this because during this time, I wrote an article with zero care, and zero passion, talking about something that literally nobody cared about. It was a piece predicting what DLC character would come out for “Super Smash Brothers Ultimate.” It was pointless, nobody read it, I think when I wrote I was definitely *REDACTED.* So yeah, another garbage piece.

In the past year, I have seen 4 Spire articles using this same picture of incoming president Vincent D. Rougeau. I think this is an absolutely exciting development, which is why I am taking the space out of my article to make it 5 articles with this picture of Rougeau.

What is this article about? Almost nothing. It’s kind of a reflection, analysis if you really want to ham it up and stretch the truth, like a recent graduate desperate for a job, but I am not going to learn anything from writing this. I am not even going to read this. So why? Well, I was doing my homework, definitely not thinking, or caring, about the Spire, when it hit me; I accidentally have been making yearly contributions to the Spire. Both times on a whim! So, I got up this morning, at the time of writing, sat down, crocs, gym shorts, and a t-shirt I’ve had since sixth grade, and I just wrote. So here we go. This is my contribution to the Spire for 2021. Whoever is reading this, probably no one, see you again in 2022.

**All satirical. Besides the parts where I insult myself. That stuff is true. But I have utmost respect for the entirety of the Spire staff. I enjoyed a lot of the stuff written this year. Most of all, congratulations to my good friend Hannah Johnson for three-four years of contributions. I’d be lying if this wasn’t a piece done out of respect for how much they care about the Eggplant. She did a bang-up job, so kudos.

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