Allyson Noenhghsadufydsiujksgfuhfkdskjcjdhsbvjfgckx ‘19
This month the College unveiled plans for the new fieldhouse, and aptly nicknamed it “The Jo” before construction has even begun. The plans and sketches eased students’ fears about the now asbestos-filled eyesore on our beautiful campus and got freshmen excited for the likely one week of their Holy Cross career that they will be able to enjoy the new facility.
The announcement also sparked a new initiative to revisit the names of other buildings across campus. In honor of “The Jo” and in keeping with the new tradition of declaring colloquial nicknames instead of letting them form organically, the College announced that the Hogan Campus Center will henceforth be known as “The Ho.”
Students expressed their satisfaction with the new nickname for this beloved spot on campus. “Hogan was just such a mouthful,” said one senior. “I spend long nights at the Ho and love to go hit it up to grab a late night drink. The Ho is like the one place on campus where you can go at all odd hours of the night!”
It’s about time Hogan got a nickname that’s as easy and accessible as the building itself is. “The easy access to the Ho is the best! There’s a reason why they call it Easy Street!” said one freshman.
“I love taking a break from Di to go eat at Kim and then grab a post dinner coffee at the Ho before hitting up the Jo. Too bad it’s just such a long walk from Fig,” said Natalie Phillips ‘19, who felt like she just wasted too much valuable study time pronouncing building names. “The Fig-Sti walk is just so brutal for seniors and I have all of my classes in Sti. It really makes me wish I lived in Will.”
The new “Ho” and “Jo” monikers also pay homage to the beloved Southbridge Street Howard Johnson “HoJo” Motel that housed Holy Cross students for years in the 1980s and 1990s before it was torn down.
All signage will be replaced within the next week to reflect the new nickname. Until then, the Ho is open for business as usual! Students will also soon be able to enjoy their Borough$-Mulledy breakfast sandwich at “The Ho.”
This article appeared in the annual satire edition of the Spire.