Lauren Backstrom ‘27

Ambassador of Peace

In recent news, Taylor Swift has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for her courage in taking a five hundred million dollar private jet from Tokyo, Japan, to the United States for the Super Bowl. This modern day Amelia Earhart has taken the world by storm. Her feat has been described as “stupendous” and “unreplicable,” by the Nobel Committee, and the Wright brothers have actually come back from the dead to congratulate her. 

“We just want to thank Taylor for everything,” Orville Wright allegedly commented. “We just feel like we owe it all to her. She deserves this. Just like she deserved that Grammy win. I think… I’m in my Reputation era.” 

Speaking of accolades, Taylor is fresh off winning not only a Grammy but also the “Highest Amount of Carbon Emissions Produced Award” for her attendance to every Chiefs game ever played. This singer-actress-environmentalist triple threat continues to beat out irrelevant nobodies like Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, and Galileo for her immense and valued contributions to society. 

Taylor’s courage and tenacity never fails to impress, and her efforts certainly impressed the Nobel Committee. They commended her for using the Grammys as a platform to announce her new album, because naturally the audience was full of Taylor Swift fans. How could they not be? Everyone is simply itching to know Taylor’s next moves. 

Taylor recently spoke on how difficult the journey was on her jet. She compared it to the transatlantic flight of Charles Lindbergh and said “If I wanted water, I had to ask for it. I didn’t have Travis to just read my mind and get it for me!” 

The rest of us cannot possibly comprehend how psychologically and physically demanding this trip was, and we can all collectively agree that this is the kind of thing that goes down in history as remarkable. The Nobel Peace Prize is only awarded to those who have done the most they can for the benefit of humanity, and I genuinely don’t know how Travis Kelce could do it without Taylor’s support. All I can say is… thank you, Taylor. Well deserved. 

Copy edited by Emily McHugh

Featured Image courtesy of UNILAD