Caitlin Wiffler ‘27
Miniscule Problem Reporter
Seemingly a 45-year-old father of three, cool-guy Professor Zack Gimbels of the Art Department is really only 26 years old. “How can this beanie-wearing man be only five years older than me?” asked senior Claire Donaldfagen ‘27. “I knew he was one of those cool professors that would, like, get an omelette from Kimball before class, but this? Being only five years older than me? I mean, I haven’t felt this blindsided since my clay donut’s nose exploded in the kiln.”
Donaldfagen isn’t the only student of Gimbels’s Fundamentals of Molding Clay lecture that felt tricked and bamboozled by his age. Junior Luke Littleman ‘28 expressed his feelings of great shock: “Is this why he wears Doc. Marten boots? Because he only graduated college four years ago? How did he even get this job?” Littleman poked the reporter as he said this, demanding an answer. He crossed his arms and looked down at his own pair of Doc. Marten boots. Seemed a little sad about them in retrospect.
Donaldfagen explained the reasoning for their bewilderment at Gimbels’s truth. “It’s just—when you know someone as being a 48-year-old—someone who wears reading glasses, has a few back problems, probably has a crazy story about traveling to Montana in his 20s—only to find out that he’s in his 20s! It’s tough to imagine your professor living a life so close to yours. It’s tough imagining your professor living a life. I work with people older than Professor Gimbels at my summer job!”
“I’ve been 26 years old for nearly three months now. I like to keep it a secret from my students for this very reason. They start to get suspicious. Maybe I should’ve started with preschool, you know. Work my way up to the average age difference. I mean, I just love clay! I decorated the art studio with a few knick knacks. Here’s a little snoopy plushie I got from the bookstore. I like to play the college radio station during class. It’s awesome! I love Geese!”
Although Professor Gimbels is a chill guy, there is still suspicion lingering in the air. “I know there’s nothing wrong with him being 26,” said Donaldfagen. “I still don’t like it.”
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