Charlotte MacQuattie ‘28
IT’S RAINING SIDEWAYS
Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed readers: it finally happened. After more than fifty years of housing students and mice alike, Holy Cross has been freed from the scourge that was Brooks Hall. As the winds picked up last weekend, several Brooks residents claim to have heard the sound of cracking from the basement, and it wasn’t just the usual suspects. Forensic reports after Brooks took flight show the foundation had been weakened decades ago, but was given the landlord special and coated in white paint in order to pass inspection. After hearing the building snap like my patience after a fourth person cuts me in the Kimball line, residents scurried out faster than the campus bunnies when they see me running at them with an oversized butterfly net. Brooks 3 dweller Dorothy Gale recalls the ordeal, “It felt like twister season back home, but we’re not in Kansas anymore. One second you’re gossiping with your roommate in your dorm, next you’re sheltering in the Clark basement with everybody from your Montserrat!” Brooks 2 RA and friend of Dorothy, Leon Kowerd, says he’s just glad it didn’t happen while he was on duty. Can you imagine the paperwork? #yikes
Brooks residents will have temporary housing comparable to their previous dorm, so they’ll be sleeping in tents in the Rotman’s Furniture building. I mean, it’s not like the school has any other uses for it yet. Despite the obvious fact that Brooks is now soaring somewhere over the rainbow, some upperclassmen argue that the Nor’easter wasn’t even that bad. “I’m from Boston; the storm was not that serious,” says senior Tim Mann, who is actually from Framingham. “When I was a freshman, we had to sleep in Hogan because the pipes froze for a week.” Whatever you say, Grandpa. While President Rougeau regrets that Reslife didn’t tie down Brooks like a Christmas tree on a Tesla, the thought of donations for a new dorm prompted a “Chu chu!” as well as a “Rah rah!” from Vinny. The bidding war between members of the Luth family is expected to cover a new dorm, more renovations to Loyola, and yet another building for the science complex. As for what remains of the Brooks foundation, word on the street says Spirit Halloween is moving in shortly.
Image courtesy of Abode Stock and Google Maps
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