Patrick Ryan ’27
Will Absolutely Be Attending
Has Halloween become over-commercialized in the past few years? A few students at Holy Cross would certainly argue so. Sophomores Peter Venkman, Mike Myers, and Ichabod Crane all believe that the corporate infiltration of the holiday has simply gone too far. “Some people want to put the Christ back into Christmas,” Venkman says, explaining his group’s sentiment. “We want to put the Hallow back into Halloween,” says Crane, vigorously nodding his head in agreement, as he adds, “Halloween used to stand for something. Now it’s just an excuse to party and dress up in ridiculous costumes. Frankly, it’s a tragedy.”
I could see the point these boys were trying to make. Halloween used to be a time when communities would come together and enjoy light-hearted activities like bobbing for apples and carving pumpkins. These were the classic times these guys were looking to return to, right? “Not exactly,” Crane smirked. “Those silly games are still a perversion of what Halloween REALLY should be. Our plans are a little less apple bobbing and a little more effigy-burning.” “That’s exactly right,” Venkman said, his eyes gleaming with some indiscernible passion. “The original purpose of Halloween was to ward off evil spirits. You can’t ward off evil spirits with some dumb costume and crappy candy! That’s why we are going deep into the woods during the witching hour and lighting a gigantic bonfire.”
The group looks to spread their “interpretation” of Halloween throughout the College, with Crane offering his personal opinion: “Look, we’re not saying that everyone needs to cancel their plans, that’d be crazy! We’re just saying that you should plan to sacrifice an offering to the dead if you aren’t looking to be tormented by hellish demons.” Despite the zeal of these gentlemen, their claims aren’t backed by a whole lot of evidence, so don’t cancel your Halloween plans just yet. But don’t completely ignore them either, ‘cause they might, you know, be right.
Featured image courtesy of Google Images
Copy Edited by Sophia Olbrysh ’28
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