Foods and Their Corresponding Feelings

Mackenzie Hughes ‘25

Human is my personality 

Food, in fact, does not have feelings. Rather, humans have feelings that accompany food. Let’s explore some! 

The experience of trying to share that crazy dream you had last night where you killed your friend but can’t explain why you had to kill her to save the world and failing to do justice to the color of your superhero suit must be accompanied by reheated coffee from yesterday morning. 

Similarly, the fear of getting too comfortable and lowering your guard only to get disappointed is shared with reheated leftovers in the microwave that trick you into thinking it’s hot when really there’s a cold spot in the middle. 

Messy tacos can only be eaten with the shame of being watched eating messy tacos. 

Not wanting to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom because you don’t want to lose your tiredness (laziness runs in the blood) is semantic with eating lunch with a side of salad and fries… a universal problem, universal food. 

My favorite feeling that works in conjunction with food is the decision of whether to stop at the store to get groceries or order Dominos and a two-flavor soft serve swirl because both options sound so good.

Submitting an assignment late and not worrying about it is like the eh, whatever mentality of when you’re eating a baked potato that probably should’ve cooked a little longer but eh, whatever. 

Getting winded walking up, like any of the steps on campus, is equivalent to eating a hot pocket when you just stuck a hot ball of blame in your mouth and now you’re breathing fire and need to consider your life choices.

Asking how much something is and it’s too much money but it’s awkward so now you have to buy it is probably most like when you eat your friend’s pasta that is definitely not good, but she offered to cook, so you choke it down anyway. 

Forced laughter at a joke that’s not funny? Just like eating shards of glass

Gif capture courtesy of sash2020/tenor
The Grinch and His Emotional Support Cake

Categories: Eggplant

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