Officer Gracie Elected SGA President

Jocelyn Buggy ‘22

Carole Baskin fed her husband to a tiger

On Wednesday, April 1, election results revealed that Officer Gracie of the Dept. of Public Safety was voted Student Government Association President.  The two-year-old Goldendoodle received over 99% of the vote after a month-long campaign. An outspoken advocate for the St. Pat’s darty and the addition of dog treats to the Cool Beans menu, her platform resonated strongly with students of all class years.  

News of Officer Gracie’s victory was cause for great celebration throughout the Holy Cross community.  Although students and faculty were not on campus due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many posted pictures and videos of their celebrations in quarantine.  Sophomore Jennifer Carter took to Instagram Live immediately after hearing the good news to offer her congratulations. She said: “You’ve made history, Officer Gracie.  Thank you for being the most important member of our campus. You are our fluffy everything.”

Photo Courtesy of the SGA’s Instagram (because apparently they have more followers than the Spire and we’re definitely *not* bitter)
Sexual Respect Awareness Week was just one of the many initiatives future SGA President Gracie spearheaded.

Officer Gracie’s campaign was historic on many fronts.  Not only will she be the first canine SGA President, but she also represents the first candidate to be elected without a running mate.  When asked about her decision to run alone, Gracie said: “I’ve been carrying this campus on my shoulders since I arrived in Worcester over the summer, so it only seemed right to fly solo on this one.”  Her supporters echoed this statement. Senior Jacob Wallace noted: “She is truly the Goodest Girl. I have no doubt that she’ll be the best SGA President to date. You can’t mess with perfection.”  

Although Officer Gracie’s victory has been met with an overwhelmingly positive response, there is a small percentage of students who believe that the president-elect is actually a Canadian political prisoner.  These voices are represented by the Instagram account @free_gracie and its blog: The Spire could not find any conclusive evidence corroborating these claims, although our investigation will continue in the coming months as Gracie enters office.

Despite her new role as SGA President, Gracie plans to continue her duties as Chief of Public Safety, Campion baker, Kimball Captain, and Croads taste-tester.  “It is true, my schedule will be busy,” she said, “but it won’t stop me from giving my all to this student body. I have a fantastic team of handlers to support me, and when things get hectic, I know that I can always count on the Holy Cross community to give me the pats and treats I’ll need.”

Categories: Eggplant, News

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