Olivia Jade Giannulli

Prospective Crew Athlete, Youtube Influencer

Prompt: In approx. 500 words, tell us why you are qualified to go to the University of Southern California.

Although I would rather make a vlog to explain why I should go to USC, I think that my career as a Youtube sensation explains it all.  As you may already know, I am Olivia Jade Beauty on Youtube and as my channel description reads: “I post videos talking about makeup, fashion, lifestyle, and occasionally I’ll do some challenges. I have a strong passion for makeup and fashion and I love sharing my passion with all of you guys here on youtube.”  Basically, I feel that since I have had such an early career that college really needs someone like me to add some fame to campus. Also, I think that college will really help me launch a new segment for Youtube: doing cute college dorm videos!  Don’t worry, though. My subscribers will not only want to see me in my dorm so I will make sure that I go home to vlog at my beautiful Los Angeles mansion.

Since I am a working woman, I’ll definitely have to put my Youtube career first so I will be traveling from time to time, but I know that you will work with me on that like my prestigious private high school so graciously did.  Instead of studying for my anatomy test, I had to go People’s “Ones to Watch” party for work. Even though I was worried about this test, I decided to get my hair and makeup done for the event and study a little bit while I was getting ready.  I think that really shows my character since I can keep up with my busy schedule of being a Youtube sensation and a student. When you are a rising influencer, however, parties, photoshoots, and launching a partnership with Sephora just take precedent.  

As I have expressed in many of my vlogs, I really do not like school that much, but I think that you need a new perspective such as this on your campus.  A typical day in my high school life consists of waking up and whining about having to go to school. Sometimes, I like to bring my camera to school and vlog.  So, instead of listening to my teacher, I like to add my own commentary for my subscribers. I usually come home from school mid-day and PostMate lunch before going back to school.  When I come home for the day, I like to fill my afternoons with spray-tans, manicures, packing for trips, and then maybe studying at 11 p.m. before jetting off to my next destination.  Even though I complain about school, I am always grateful for my education because there are people less fortunate than me who do not have parents that pay their way.

Finally, I think that you should accept me into USC because I am a self-proclaimed collegiate rower.  I have been rowing since I learned that people get into college by being athletes. I think I would be a great asset to the team because I do HIIT on my treadmill.  If you want to see my workout routine, you can just watch my channel. Unfortunately, I have not vlogged any of my rowing practices, but if I get enough comments asking for one, maybe I can do that.

So, that is all I have for you for this essay.  I hope you liked this and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel!  Thanks for watching, I mean reading.

This article appeared in the annual satire edition of the Spire.