Who will you be?

Mario Micallef ‘22Eggplant Editor On Friday, April 3, a man assaulted a teenage girl who was hanging out with her friends at Norton Commons, a residential community 20 minutes outside of downtown Louisville, Kentucky.  The man claimed the aggressive behavior ensued because the girls were not practicing “social […]

Spire Updated Editorial Board

We have recently made some adjustments to our editorial board staff positions. Please take note of these important changes. Jackie Cannon, Billy Fitzpatrick Still hiding in Hogan 235 Ethan Bachand, Jocelyn Buggy, Davey Sullivan Just wanted to be on the front page Olivia Pan, Maggie Connolly, Ryen Cinski, […]

Response to Social Distancing, by Major

Jackie Cannon ’20 Social Distancing Expert (AKA Hardcore Introvert) Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. In a recent poll undertaken by The Eggplant’s research division, Holy Cross students weighed in on how they’re responding to social distancing.  Biology: “Would […]

Donut King

Mario Micallef ’22Eggplant Editor Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. [8:30 a.m., Rolla, Missouri, Donut King] [Michael and Amanda, sent home from college in Massachusetts due to the coronavirus, walk into a donut shop midway through their trek across […]

Crusader of the Week: The Holy Cross Skunk

Kelly Gallagher ’22Chief Features Editor Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. Name: Odie  Hometown: The woods behind Figge  Major: Aromatherapy  Campus Activities: Joining the RAs on their nighttime rounds, dumpster diving, perfuming Favorite Movie: “Swamp Thing”  Favorite song: “Smells […]

Fashionable Face Mask Alternatives

Kelly Gallagher ’22A Rising Miranda Priestly Editor’s note: This article appears in our annual Eggplant Edition, comprised exclusively of satirical articles. The health care system is struggling to stay on top of the coronavirus pandemic, and one of their most pressing problems is the face mask shortage. It’s […]