Charlotte MacQuattie ‘28
squeak
Campus is buzzing with excitement ahead of fall break; students going home are eager to reunite with their dog, and students staying on campus are relieved to finally get away from their stupid roommates. But those most excited for break are some of campus’s less visible residents: the mice living in the walls of your dorm. The Eggplant’s in-house rodent expert, Mikey Mauz, says the mice have been counting down the days since the semester started. “Students are pretty inconsiderate of their neighbors. Always blasting their music and keeping us—I mean them—up all night. So when the students leave for break, the mice get their revenge. Word on the squeak is that the mice are planning a big raid on snack stashes Friday night. And those boys can do some serious damage. I once saw two mice dragging a 30-pack of Cheez-Its into their home in the radiator.” While the Office of Residence Life and Housing claims that there are no mice in the walls, no mold in the showers, and no war in Ba Sing Se, the mouse community remains an active part of campus life. Without any students to celebrate bagel Wednesday at Campion, the chaplains will be offering mini bagels to the mice. “We’re all God’s creatures,” says Father Stewart Liddel, “Everybody deserves a bagel and some cream cheese. Mmm cheese.” After their bagels, the mice plan to give back to campus and start decorating for the holidays. Apparently Christmas is really big in mouse culture, and not just because it commemorates when Clara and the Nutcracker freed their people from the tyranny of the Mouse King. Christmouse, as they call it, honors the heroic acts of Albert Mouse fixing the singing clocktower that beacons Santa to their town of Junctionville, New York on Christmas Eve in 1974. It is a testament to the hardworking nature of the mouse, who recognize that even a miracle needs a hand.
So when you come back from fall break, don’t get mad at the mice for taking your snacks. Think instead of their resilience, never giving up on making their presence known even when Reslife tries to deny them. We should all strive to be more like the noble mouse. Squeak Cross squeak.
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