Tim Elder ’28
Guest Writer
I may as well have been talking into an abis. As I stood up here giving a presentation I was tempted to start talking about gorillas and dragons to confirm the sad truth that everyone, except my professor of course, was missing my riveting presentation. I was however the first member of the class to give a presentation. Maybe they were simply too stunned by the brilliance of my academic masterpiece to look like they were paying attention, or so I told myself, until I scanned the room.
The gentleman in a Red Sox jersey to my left was periodically fist pumping and lightly clapping his hands. Although I believed my presentation was more enthralling and riveting than Saving Private Ryan it definitely did not warrant physical acts of emotion. This gentleman was most definitely watching the Yankees vs Red Sox game.
The girl sitting in the back row had her back to the window which allowed me to see the reflection of her macbook screen. As I focused more on the reflection I hoped to see the only logical screen, a document with extensive notes for my riveting presentation but she was actually online shopping.
Lastly to my right was a member of the football team who was practically four feet deep in his ipad screen. I pretended to accidentally drop my pointer to try and get a better look at what was so interesting on his screen. After getting the correct angle I saw that this gentleman was watching film for the team’s upcoming opponent. At least he was studying something I thought to myself.
I concluded my presentation by asking if anyone had any questions. This was like asking an Amish person for the Wi Fi password. No one was brave enough to raise their hand. Perhaps they were in shock or calculating how fast they could sprint to the exit to not follow my presentation. My professor then scanned the class like a warden picking inmates for roll call and forced one unlucky soul to declare what they “enjoyed” about my presentation. He landed on the Red Sox fanatic and I couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say.
‘Uh, I liked the visuals and stuff,” they stated as they fumbled for more to say. This response, although exceptionally correct, was a clear cop out answer. If he provided the score of the Sox game it would’ve been a profoundly more useful response. I simply don’t understand what kind of person wouldn’t pay attention to their fellow classmates presentation. After everything was concluded all I needed was a mic to drop to put the cherry on top of my TedTalk in disguise. I unfortunately wasn’t met with an expected tsunami of applause only a light golf clap but this was no matter. I sat in my uncomfortable desk chair, leaned back and put my hands behind my head knowing no one would top the master work I’d just done. I replayed the whole thing in my head. I closed my eyes and was taken back to my amazing one liners, exceptional intellect and yes my perfect visuals. I was taken out of this haze as my Professor began asking me a question.
He asked me what I enjoyed about my classmates’ presentation that had just been given during my day dreaming. I was at a loss for words. Then I found some.
“I liked the visuals” I stated.
Featured image courtesy of Google Images
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