Caitlin Wiffler ‘27
Shaking her head in shame
The Hoval: the Hogan Oval. Holy Cross’s favorite place to harass students by asking them questions like “What song are you listening to?” or “Tell me where your outfit is from!” It’s known for being the central spot on campus, and for students to feel the most collegiate on a warm day by laying on the grass or playing Spikeball. However, perhaps the thing students love the most about the Hoval is not the camaraderie of students. Perhaps it is the food trucks. Specifically, the ice cream trucks.
Yes, that’s correct. Students go absolutely feral for ice cream trucks. Last Sunday, a Ben & Jerry’s truck arrived at the beloved circle of Hogan. The line stretched for miles. Everywhere you stepped, another girl carried a cone the size of her face. Loose rainbow sprinkles littered the ground, people hooted and hollered for their favorite flavors: Half Baked, Cherry Garcia, and Phish Food, to name a few. This occurrence was a rare one indeed, as this particular truck did not have the usual catch. Most Hoval ice cream truck workers say “Not so fast missy” or “Hands off the creme de la glace until you’ve gotten a ticket, chubs.” Usually, Holy Cross only brings this creamy delicacy for the benefit of a certain campus club or organization, like SGA or the annual blood drive. This has worked out well in the past, as most students love to support Holy Cross’s organizations. However, after the departure of the Ben & Jerry’s truck on Sunday, a very mysterious truck arrived.
This ice cream truck did not have the usual friendly designs or decorations. There was no menu. Just a white van with a black spray-painted “ICE CREAM” sign on the side. Students came over to the truck in suspicion and anticipation for their usual colossal cones, but all they found was a tall man with a white beard smoking a cigar. He wore a blue and white checkered apron with Bugs Bunny’s face on the front. Debra Granger ‘25 asked the man what his deal was, and if she could get some ice cream from him. His response was, “Of course you can get ice cream from me. I have chipwiches, Tweety Bird, and the tiny Ben & Jerry’s cups. All you have to do is sign your name on this blank piece of paper.” Debra instantly reached for her pen and signed without any hesitation. Soon, a line of nearly 80 students flooded the Hoval. “Mwahahahaha” was heard faintly in the distance. After an hour of handing out ice cream, one student accidentally bumped into the spray-painted sign on the ground, causing it to fall and shatter on the ground. What was revealed was a previous sign on the truck that read “Edgar Von IckLevon, Esq.” with the capital letters sprayed in red, leading to a few students noticing that they spell out “EVIL, E.”
“Hmm, that’s odd,” said Harry Moron, ‘28. Yes, very odd indeed. Students got ice cream for another hour. Then, the ice cream man left with his signatures and went to Lake Quinsigamond to finish his duty. He posted an Instagram Reel explaining that for every signature he got, he would dump a gallon of oil into the lake. Unfortunately for him, he only had 5 followers on Instagram, so no one really saw this. Unfortunately for Lake Quinsigamond and the Worcester community, there is now about 200 gallons of oil in the lake.
Featured image courtesy of Google Images
Copy Edited by Lilly Baumfeld ‘27
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