Piper Guiney ‘28
“Chat, who is Sisyphus?”
One dreary morning, just as the sun broke through the clouds, a Holy Cross senior classics major awoke from her slumber. It was odd to be up with the sun, considering how she usually slept in well past noon. When she checked her phone, the clock read not numbers, but letters from the Greek alphabet. A rush of fear overcame her, and she ran to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face. She turned on a faucet and, without thinking, splashed the liquid on her face. But what is this?! Olive oil? It seems someone had magically replaced her water line with that of olive oil. What was happening? All of a sudden, she heard a booming voice from overhead. “Hello, this is Zeus, god of the sky. You are being punished for using ChatGPT to write your last essay for Greek history class. Now go down to Fitton Field to face your punishment.” The student jumped and clutched her pearls in fright at the loud and authoritative voice. It couldn’t have actually been Zeus, right? But what if it was? Her curiosity got the best of her and she simply had to go down to Fitton. “Nothing is going to be there,” she thought. “I’m just tired and hearing things, maybe my roommates tik tok.” Still, she put on her coat and beat up Uggs and began the trek down the hill.
The campus had an eerie feel about it and there was nobody else as far as she could see. Past Kimball and the tennis courts she went, all the while wondering what was in store. When the football field came into her line of sight, she saw it. A 12-foot-tall boulder. She walked up to it, taking it all in. It was then that Zeus’s voice reappeared. “Now push,” he said. “What?” responded the student. “Ugh just push the stupid boulder like omg its a reference don’t you freaking get it nerd?” (We would like to note that this particular student was not, in fact, a nerd and therefore did put 2 and 2 together. Hence the aforementioned ChatGPT usage) “Ew no!” responded the student “I just got my hair done and I am NOT breaking a sweat. What reference are you talking about?” Zeus retaliated with a heavy sigh, eye roll, and by stating, “Sisyphus? You nincompoop. I called him that because he was a sissy and made a major fuss. Same goes for you. Now, for one last time, push the stupid boulder.” Ultimately, the student did push, and is rumored to still be trying to push, that godforsaken boulder up Mount St. James.
Featured image courtesy of Google Images
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