Ian Sykes ’28
Luxury Lifestyle Correspondent
Earlier this year, the Holy Cross Board of Trustees announced an increase of 5.6 percent to the school’s tuition. “It is with a heavy heart that we must raise the tuition again – a tradition as old as our school,” President Rogeau announced last month, seconds before spending $8 million to buy a giant sinkhole in the middle of Worcester.
The announcement to raise tuition, though fully anticipated, came at the displeasure of many students and families. One student, Tevin Kaylor, who chose to remain anonymous, testified of his family’s dissatisfaction with the announcement. “Dude, this isn’t cool. My dad just had to sell his fifth mansion in the middle of Luxembourg to pay for this crap. That was my favorite one! You could throw nickels at the homeless people and everything!”
Kaylor, a triple-major in Embezzlement, Peasant Watching, and Humility, noted his own personal dissatisfaction with the choice. “Once I inherit my dad’s debt, I’m going to have to sell my fourth one too!” Kaylor said. Worrying about job prospects in the future, he also noted “My dad set me up with this stupid lawyer guy who is making me work for only $50 an hour after I graduate! How am I even supposed to afford to pay this crap off, or to still do my bi-weekly service trips to the Bahamas?”
Kaylor’s father declined to comment, quickly telling The Spire that he had to attend to one of his many charities, before boarding his gold-plated jet en route to Mar-a-Lago.
Conversely, students who receive generous financial aid have raised concerns about whether the increase would affect them, to which the Administration told them, “While we don’t believe this change will affect you currently, it is unlikely that you will be able to buy a house in the future.”
Featured image courtesy of College of the Holy Cross
Copy Edited by Lily Wasmund ’28
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