The Spire

Caitlin Wiffler ‘27

Culturally, Not Practicing, Irish

This weekend is St. Patrick’s Day! For those of you who are not familiar with the holiday, it is first and foremost an excuse for people to brag about their Irish heritage (are you really 100% Irish? Really?) and wear a “Kiss Me I’m Irish” shirt (guilty!) Many people do not know the true Irish way of celebrating this glorious day, so I am here to give you some advice, and to tell you how you can have a memorable St. Patrick’s Day. 

First: Listen to Irish music. Not familiar? Don’t worry- I’m here to recommend some of the best Irish songs. Some people might suggest bands like The Wolfe Tones, The Irish Rovers, The Pogues, U2, The Cranberries, or other Irish musicians like Niall Horan and Hozier. I am here to recommend some lesser-known artists, like REO Speedwagon, Zach Bryan, and The Strokes! Did you know that REO Speedwagon was originally named IRA Speedwagon? They had to change it because it really didn’t make any sense! Zach Bryan’s real name is Conan O’Brien, but he changed it to make it more American, to appeal to his country fanbase. Also there is apparently a very famous talk show host with that name, and Conan J. O’Brien just didn’t have a ring to it. The Strokes are originally from Cork, which is why you can’t understand anything they are ever saying in their lyrics. It’s true! And Julian Casablancas, the lead singer’s name was originally Finley Carney. Besides listening to loud, pitchy music, Irish people also enjoy fighting, eating beige, bland, boiled food, and saying anything they want. And if you’re ever wondering, “does this guy just have a really thick accent or is he speaking gibberish?” Most of the time it is actually gibberish. Also, you must wear the most uncomfortable clothes possible. Specifically wool sweaters that always have an interestingly pungent smell to them. 

Now that you know basically everything there is to know about Irish culture, the best way to celebrate is to get out there! Walk the streets! Parade around! Not sure what to do? Try the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Boston. Located in between Emma Stone’s Oscars, this parade has everything you need to break out into a jig on March 17th. It has that old book smell, Starbucks workers on strike, potatoes, actors who don’t know that the SAG-AFTRA strike already ended (and was never in Boston), and oh, what’s that? It’s a float of everyone’s favorite Irishman, Robert De Niro! Obviously! If you are looking for madness in March, look no further than the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. A celebration of Irish culture has everything you need to spice up this month.

Copy Edited by Hannah Torrey ’27