The Spire

Lauren Backstrom ‘27

Slipped and Fell in Snow

According to an inside complaint from someone in President Vincent D. Rougeau’s cabinet of advisors, the Holy Cross Administration has simply refused to even glance up from playing “Candy Crush,” or reportedly “crying over just how bad their reviews on Rate My Professors are,” or even more scandalously, looking up how to best “cover up the fact that the dining hall food is radioactive,” on websites like Reddit and have subsequently stopped attempting to look outside. 

Although Worcester, known as one of the warmest cities on the planet, is prone to bouts of mildly angry weather, it is clear that the Holy Cross Administration has simply taken a break from windows and decided to lock in on more important measures. It is undetermined what has led to this change, but all signs do point to this being true, as zero professors or administration have reached out to the student body even alerting them to the 8 inches of snow or extremely icy, almost fatal environment. I guess they just must not be looking!

Several students, who wished to remain anonymous, have commented that they are very glad Holy Cross has not taken any initiative in regards to the weather and have instead decided to focus their attention on chants at rival football games in Chestnut Hill. This sounds to me, personally, very in line with Jesuit tradition. I am one of many wondering when the Holy Cross Administration will replace their office windows with something that they will actually use instead of meaningless decoration. Hopefully, they will also begin to develop a mechanism that allows the line to Kimball to go about ten times faster.