Patrick Ryan ’27
Self-Proclaimed Pundit
Don’t be alarmed when the Opinions Section is nowhere to be found in upcoming issues of The Spire. The section can now be found in a place that aptly reflects the content of some of its articles, as the website 4chan will be hosting the column for the foreseeable future. Though some are confused by the sudden change, the move was not without impetus. A trend of grammatical errors, blatant biases, and questionable article topics have helped launch the section off the paper and onto the chat site. For example, the recent article “Lauren Boebert- Our First Female President?” has spurred some controversy among typical readers of the paper. “The Case for American Imperialism” and “A Defense of Pinochet” have also caused some minor outcry. But beyond these bold claims, pieces now seem to be descending into the realm of fantasy. An excerpt from a prior week’s article may help explain the shift:
“Why I am not assured the Goblin King’s reign is inescapable”
While the Batox the Lesser’s rule as supreme leader of the nine realms was attacked by calls of corruption from the dwarves and halflings, crooked Baron William Turner’s following rule was met with little scrutiny, despite his obvious collusion with the Jotuns. I for one would travel one thousand furlongs on an unsaddled mule to cast my ballot for Batox, our true monarch.
Clearly, some of these articles have left the rationale of our real world, so don’t feel ashamed if you can’t distinguish between Opinions and George R. R. Martin’s latest novel. Student feelings are mixed about the new development. Dan Dreiberg ’26 expressed his disappointment saying, “personally, I miss the old days when opinion articles, despite containing personal beliefs, still contained accurate information and were mostly void of overt political asserations.” Others could evidently care less, with Edward Blake ’25 commenting, “I’m just excited I can finally write articles about issues I know little to nothing about! It was always such a barrier for me before!” But how will the missing space in The Spire now be occupied? The section that was formerly designated for Opinions will now be inhabited by TV shows and movie reviews, information regarding charity drives, and articles on anything that does not make the reader cringe to the core. Essentially, Spire readers can now enjoy lovely, well written opinion articles without the ugly political undertones that once tainted the entire section.
Featured Image courtesy of Common Craft
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