Mackenzie Hughes ’25

I still have sillybandz

Group leader: Thank you everyone for coming today. In the wake of TikTok and Instagram, I can’t imagine how everyone must feel. Why don’t we go around the room and share something.

Silly Bandz: Hi! I’m so grateful for this wonderful opportunity to be here! 

Pokemon GO: I don’t know why she’s so cheery, Silly Bandz fell out of style like a hundred years ago. Me, on the other hand? I’m angry. Before BeReal came out, everyone used to get distracted by me while walking down the street. 

The Mannequin Challenge: I feel that. Even though I wasn’t as globally popular as you, I was still an internet sensation. I mean, come on, Michele Obama, the Lakers, who could top that? 

Planking: It’s those dang TikTok challenges! No one cares about artistry anymore, it’s all about content, content, content. 

Slime: Honestly, I’m confused about why I’m even here. My friends thought it would be a good idea to get some help, but I’m not like Mr. Fidget Spinner over here – people still like to play with slime. 

Fidget Spinner: Woah, woah, woah. Did you get banned from major public schools for being so popular? I didn’t think so. 

Leader: It seems like the overall feeling is frustration. But we must remember that 2016 was a long time ago, and it’s time to move on.

Planking: Maybe for some of us 2016 was a long time ago, but it’s nothing like the mesolithic internet year when the mannequin challenge was popular. 

Silly Bandz: If the time planking was popular were as old as a child, the child would be 2 months. Silly Bandz is eternal! 

Slime: Geez, what got into her? 

Pokemon Go: Why are we getting mad at each other when we should be angry at who’s really responsible – the aliens. 

The Mannequin Challenge: Ugh, here we go again with the aliens. 

Leader: Let’s get back on track. What are some ways we can help each other move on? 

Silly Bandz: I think the answer is clear – we need to start a revolution. 

Slime: Ok, really, what’s going on with her? 

Planking: Now is not the time to be irrational. I was featured on The Office for crying out loud. Our time will come again…our time will come again…

Pokemon Go: Well that was suspicious. 

The Mannequin Challenge: Can you imagine if someone posted the Mannequin Challenge or even planking on TikTok? That would go viral! He’s right, we’ll have our moment in the sun again. 

Silly Bandz: But what about Fidget Spinner, Slime, and I? What are we gonna do? 

Slime: Speak for yourself. I got Gweneth Paltrow on speed dial. She’s gonna market me as some type of new Goop activity thingy. 

Fidget Spinner: I think what this disgusting blob of gunk is trying to say is that we may not make it onto For You pages like new trends do, but we will live on forever in hearts and minds. 

Leader: That was very lovely, thank you Fidget Spinner. Does anyone have anything else they wanna say before we go? 

Pokemon Go:  Yeah, I got something to say. It’s all the alien’s fault! 

The Cup Song: Hey, am I late for the meeting?  

Photo by WSAW