Michael Vail ’24

Hasn’t Seen the Sun Since 2022

I had the pleasure of speaking with Sebastian Johns ’23, co-chair of the Holy Cross Gaming & Esports Club, about the upcoming intramural softball tournament. Johns managed to pull together an entire team consisting of members from the club. How did this happen, and what is he thinking?

What inspired you to create this softball team?

“Honestly, the band invited me to their team, but I actually wanted to win this season.”

How did you manage to convince nine gamers to go outside?

“We promised everyone an anime body pillow if they played, and that seemed to do the trick. Of course I’m not gonna be paying out of pocket, not in this economy. I am fully confident I can embezzle the Gaming Club’s funds without anyone noticing. That’s a guarantee. You don’t get to be a co-chair without knowing how to do what you gotta do.”

How will your team’s talents in gaming translate into softball?

“The mental fortitude developed by playing online games eight hours a day is directly translatable to softball. There’s not a single team in this tournament that has more resilience than we do.” [Interviewer’s note: This seems to be true. I surveyed the members of the esports teams, and every one of them said they continue to play despite holding a deep hatred toward their respective games. How they haven’t given up by now is astounding to me.]

What is your goal with this team? Do you expect to win the championship?

“Anything less than the championship is an abject failure. The first cup in the trophy case of the Gaming Room—if we ever get one—will not be from esports, but from softball. That’s a guarantee.”

Final question: how do you think it will feel to finally touch grass?

“Cold, and… refreshing like a spring breeze.”

Photo by EvgeniyShkolenko/iStock/Getty Images Plus