Lauren Poltorak ‘26

Plastic Skeleton

The Office of Residence Life and Housing has announced that Brooks Hall will be converted into a Spirit Halloween this Halloween season. All current residents of Brooks must be moved out of their dorms by October 1st. Any Brooks residents that are not out of their dorms by this date are to be used for parts for the decorations sold in the store. Regarding this situation, the President of Brooks said, “As President, I expect my citizens to act in accordance with such laws. As a special treat, I will be performing Annie in a one man play for all my people to enjoy. Thank you citizens.”

The announcement caused outrage among the Brooks Hall community with seven residents responding by getting arrested for public indecency. On the contrary, the announcement was met with resounding celebration from the rest of the Holy Cross community. Students and staff alike have rejoiced in celebration for the much desired replacement of Brooks Hall. When we asked a resident of Hanselman for their thoughts on the matter they said, “I think they should replace Brooks with a massive crater instead.” This decision has been regarded as one of the best decisions in the college’s history.