Eggplant

How to Not Seem Suspicious on Campus

Hannah Johnson ‘21

Investigator

Hi everyone! Have you ever felt a little *conspicuous* on campus? As though maybe,

Everywhere you go, a Pub Safe car is watching your movements? If   so,  then you should

Look no further! Today, I am going to do my best to help you as     well as      potentially,

Let you in on some tips                                                                                                                    for being

Ordinary while  on        c a m p u s .

If you blend in with the c r o w d,

This will be very good for      you

In the sense that no one will quickly

Send accusations or suspicions at a

Innocent person like yourself! Tip 1:

Invite people to hang out.       You

May seem less suspicious if you stay in a large group, or if you happen to find  y o u r s e l f

Partying with others, because then you will be with a group, and they can be  your alibi!

Or try #2. Do your chores and your tasks! Normal Holy Cross students are     very busy,

So try keeping up with the stuff you need to do. If you aren’t doing some kind of  t a s k , 

Then people might question what you’re really up to, and we wouldn’t want      them to 

Observe that! Tip 3: Consider the lights. If you are in bright light, you are   n e i t h e r

Really suspicious, nor threatening! Meanwhile, if you don’t want people to see  what

A fine fellow like yourself is up to, considering turning off the lights, or working under the

Moon, at night, when it’s dark! Tip 4: This may seem obvious, and it follows from #1, but

Only do suspicious things when other people aren’t around, and nobody is  p o s s i b l y

Nearby, to lessen your chances of being caught red-handed! Let’s move on to      tip #4:

Get acquainted with your surroundings. Because if you know the locations as well as the

Utilization of nearby vents and holes and things… you will be very handy if a repairman

Sometime asks you about them! You will    feel 

Lucky that you were able to help, because it makes

One feel like such a good person… not up to any

Low-life business at all, no sir. Just playing       some

Xylophone like a good, innocent citizen, haha…

Don’t look at me like that, buddy, I’m onto you…

Categories: Eggplant

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