Eggplant

“Spring Semester Update”: Trick or Treat?

Hannah Johnson ‘21

Spooky scary skeleton

I thought maybe it was just me who felt a little anxious about these update emails, but after listening in on some student conversation about the latest, I realized that it’s probably a universal feeling. And that seems very odd: so far, it’s been only good news, for the most part. 

Well, you know what else was once “good news”? The message that we were coming back to campus this fall. And you all know how that went.

That’s where the anxiety comes in. Students, we got played once already. We loved a girl, and she dunked our heart into a Williams garbage disposal. So here we are, a bit shaken/stirred and very lonely, but what’s this? A new girl is sliding into our inboxes, and her name is Spring Semester Update:

Screenshot by Hannah Johnson ’21.
The email in question…

…and she’s saying that everything’s gonna be alright, we’ll (probably) be on campus in the spring–no garbage disposals. We’re all wise to hold a bit of skepticism close at hand, because we know that it could all disappear at the drop of a hat. We learned from experience–all-too recent experience. I shudder to remember it… Frankly, everything is doing a great job of building the spooky atmosphere. “Spring Semester Update” goes out right around the midterm period, when we’re all stressed and burnt out, smothered in classwork; the temperatures are dropping, causing a frightful chill to run down your spine, and Halloween is just around the corner. The autumn leaves have been falling, and with all these signs, you know… the witching hour is nearing. I am positively terrified. The question is begged: this spring, are we all in for a trick? Or, perhaps… could we see a treat for ourselves, during these hard times? (Treat please. Treat please. Treat please. Treat please. PLEASE TREAT–)

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