If Campion House Cookie Emails and Ever-fi Course Reminder Emails Traded Their Respective Tones: A Study

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Hannah Johnson ‘21

Decorated Researcher

Email #1:

Subject: ONLINE OPPORTUNITY TODAY: Ever-fi courses!

Message: Drop by a computer TODAY anytime for an online Ever-fi course and a socially-distanced ‘hello’ from the Office of Student Wellness Education! 

Message #2: OOPS! Anytime before 11:59pm TODAY! 

(The Director needs a cup of coffee…)

Email #2:

Subject: Your Campion House Cookies due in 3 days

Message: Dear Student,

You have not stopped by the chapel plaza for a Campion House cookie. All cookies are due for pickup in three days (with the exception of the Diversity cookie). Your campus housing & access privileges for this semester and next will be revoked if these cookies are not eaten by the deadline. Your name and emails will also be sent to your class Dean for follow up on Monday if the cookies are not picked up.

Please go to the chapel plaza on Monday or Thursday afternoon, or walk up the hill from the bottom of campus until you see a purple tent with cookies under it.

You can see from your kitchen, which cookies you still need to collect.  If you are having trouble finding the Campion pop-up tent, please contact the Chaplain’s Office.

College Chaplains

Graphic design by Valentina Moran

One response to “If Campion House Cookie Emails and Ever-fi Course Reminder Emails Traded Their Respective Tones: A Study”

  1. […] grade), search no further than our satire section, The Eggplant. This week’s offerings include “If Campion House Cookie Emails and Ever-fi Course Reminder Emails Traded Their Respective Tones: … by Hannah Johnson ‘21, Chief Eggplant Editor, a.k.a. Decorated Researcher; “All Ears,” by […]

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