Crazy, Stupid, Kimball

Greg Hausler ’20 
Eggplant Editor 

It’s that time of year ladies, gentlemen, and first years. Love is in the air, valentines are being sent, and friends are sending dank Valentine’s Day memes to each other. Although the vast majority of us are going to be spending our Valentine’s Day with our significant others or in my case my Playstation, I thought it would be a nice time to spark a lovely Bleacher Report style power ranking of campus options for Woody Allen’s favorite holiday aside from Father’s Day. Per the advice of various romantic comedies, texts with my mom and advice from girls I’m friendzoned by I have established an unabashed master list of campus options that not only include the dining option but the time of the meal needed to make this Valentine’s Day the best one yet at the College of.

  1. Science Cafe: 12:50 pm 

First off, make sure your date Grubhub’s her order because you don’t want to be waiting in that line. Second, order a sandwich with guacamole in it because if there’s one thing we can all agree on in 2020 it is anything having to do with avocado. Thirdly, don’t forget that water cups are an extra 25 cents, may not seem like a big deal but splurge and get that orange juice for $1.50.

  1. Cool Beans 10:30 am 

What’s better and less stressful than a nice, little, coffee date? Plus, no one spends too much as we all are broke due to our college’s incredibly affordable $70,000 tuition. Best case scenario: date is going well and the conversation is flowing, order a breakfast sandwich from Cool Beans or call an audible and move to the Pub. 

  1. Crossroads Pub: 6:00 pm 

Limitless food options, a nice setting, and the chance of running into a professor all come with this 5 star option. My recommendation is to get all the finger food you can, I can’t think of any more attractive quality than watching someone try and consume a Super Steak and Cheese sub. 

  1. Chipotle/somewhere on Shrewsbury Street

It’s 2020, we have Uber, Grubhub, Doordash, etc. Even if you don’t have a car on campus go somewhere.

  1. Crossroads 11:30 pm 

The only place open for the late night hours if you hypothetically have a little bit too much of the blood of Christ and are in need of some late night replenishment. Croads has everything to offer. Unhealthy food, intoxicated students, endless cutlery, and the chance to give a “whatsup” to the dude that sits next to you in class that you don’t talk to normally. It may be your last case scenario but something’s better than nothing. 

Categories: Eggplant

Tagged as:

1 reply »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s