Eggplant

Gracie Announced as New Title IX Coordinator

Dane Anderson ‘20

Returned Sabbatical Writer

Jamie Hoag, interim Title IX director, announced today at a press conference in the Rehm Library that Gracie the Public Safety dog will take over the position of Title IX Coordinator. The nationwide search considered many candidates, but the committee ultimately decided to choose a familiar face. The committee valued Gracie’s beautiful coat, loyalty to traditional Jesuit values, and daily positive attitude. “She brought a smile every day when she worked on keeping this campus safe. That’s the spirit we wanted in a director.” 

Jamie continued his announcement by promoting the hopes of the committee in their decision. “Title IX has become an office that students are nervous to approach. We want to change this campus perception.” Gracie proposed weekly belly rubs on the Hoval and long walks in the wetland sanctuary at the base of the hill. Both ideas aim to increase familiarity between Gracie and the students. It is still unclear if Gracie will receive or administer the belly rubs. 

At the end of the announcement, one student asked how Gracie, a dog, could be appointed to this position. Witnesses report Jamie’s stern, unamused expression as he responded, “There’s no rule that says a dog can’t be Title IX coordinator.” Without checking to see if there were any more questions, Jamie promptly ended the conference. Campus reporters are vigilantly checking the Public Safety Instagram page to see how they will move forward with their now-vacant K-9 unit.

Photo courtesy of holycross.edu

Categories: Eggplant

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