Editor’s note: The Eggplant is The Spire’s satire section.

By Christine McLaughlin ’21
Eggplant Contributor

Holy Cross senior Chris from Long Island has been making quite the stir in Williams Hall with his most recent choice of decoration: the side of a Coors Light box mounted on his wall with scotch tape.

Neighbors say it “provides a relaxed, yet luxurious atmosphere,” and demonstrates Chris’ fine-tuned sense of artistic composition.

“I never thought of Chris as much of a decorator,” says his roommate, Jacob. “But now I see this and I think… woah. That guy has an eye.”

Chris has been quoted saying that he is considering ditching his economics major and pursuing interior design. “I used to think J.P. Morgan was the place for me,” he says, much to the dismay of his Wall Street father. “Now I think Pottery Barn is calling my name.”

Patrick, class of 2020, a philosophy and aspiring art history major, certainly agrees. “He makes great use of negative space in the room. Chris is really one to look out for.”

Look out, indeed: Chris says his next project involves hanging a Barstool flag and a Holy Cross flag next to each other on the opposite wall. “I can’t say too much else, though. It’s in the works,” he says. Don’t believe me? Stop by and see for yourself.