Eggplant

Mandatory Four-year Montserrat Program Announced

Allyson Noeshghsadufydsiujksgfuhfkdskjcjdhsbvjfgickx ‘19

Montserrat Survivor

Do you ever find yourself saying “I miss my Montserrat?” Are you often bored on weeknights without endless co-curricular cluster events to attend? Do you miss the comfort of being in a residence hall that serves as both a living and learning community? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re in luck! Starting with the class of 2022, completion of a four-year-long Montserrat program will be a graduation requirement. Students will continue with their current Montserrat class and professor for a total of eight semesters, which will conclude with a mandatory Montserrat thesis.

Montserrat program coordinator and chemistry professor, Molly Cule, explains, “After careful review we have found that one year just isn’t enough time to fully engage the breadth of material offered in each seminar. Across the board in all clusters, there is more discussion to be had, and we have found that students need more time to develop those critical thinking and writing skills that serve as the cornerstone of the Montserrat experience.” There are even talks of a potential Montserrat major in the works.

Another advantage to the four-year Montserrat experience is that students will remain with their cluster in one residence hall for the entirety of their time on campus. Professor Molly Cule asserts, “While some upperclassmen may prefer to live with their friends off-campus, many others have struggled with separation anxiety from their cluster-shared dorm, which successfully blurs the boundary between classroom and residence hall, and allows such philosophical conversations begun in class to carry over seamlessly to the laundry room or the bathroom.”

Photo courtesy of Holy Cross.
The senior class, featured above, will have the opportunity to reunite with their Montserrat clusters during a required screening of the film “Babel.”

Kimmie Kay ‘22 expressed her love for her current Montserrat class and excitement about the new required program. “Bonding with your classmates over your shared hatred of a class is simply the best way to unite students of diverse backgrounds in their first few days on The Hill. I could not be happier to be afforded the opportunity to continue this journey with my 15 best friends and favorite professor over the next three years.” Other students expressed that there is comfort in knowing that no matter how poorly you do in your other classes each semester, no grade will ever be lower than your Montserrat grade, even if you actually do all of the reading. “It’s a humbling experience and sets a good baseline,” adds one freshman.

Kimmie Kay ‘22 expressed her love for her current Montserrat class and excitement about the new required program. “Bonding with your classmates over your shared hatred of a class is simply the best way to unite students of diverse backgrounds in their first few days on The Hill. I could not be happier to be afforded the opportunity to continue this journey with my 15 best friends and favorite professor over the next three years.” Other students expressed that there is comfort in knowing that no matter how poorly you do in your other classes each semester, no grade will ever be lower than your Montserrat grade, even if you actually do all of the reading. “It’s a humbling experience and sets a good baseline,” adds one freshman.

Thinking of studying abroad? Fear not; you will still be able to continue your Montserrat studies. In fact, you’ll have to. All students abroad will join their Montserrat class on campus via Skype. Co-curricular cluster events will also be broadcast live to students across the globe to ensure that they can meet the minimum requirement of 20 events and reflection papers per semester.

Montserrat program coordinators are now accepting submissions for next year’s clusters’ T-shirt designs and quotes.

This article appeared in the annual satire edition of the Spire.

Categories: Eggplant, News

Tagged as:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s