Holy Cross has long been known for its intensive study abroad programs. While students at other schools mostly study abroad for just one semester, Holy Cross is known for encouraging their students to step out of their comfort zone and to live in a foreign country for a year. “For most people, one semester just isn’t enough time to fully immerse themselves in the culture. By the time they are settled, the semester is over and it’s time to leave!” reported one spokesperson from the Office of Study Abroad.
Recently, however, Holy Cross has been revising their study abroad programs. “Upon review, we really don’t think one year is enough time for most people. By the time they are settled, the year is over and it’s time to leave!” reported the same spokesperson from the Office of Study Abroad.
The Office of Study Abroad’s claims are not unfounded. Recent research also supports a lengthier stay in a foreign country. “Studies have shown that you really do need four years to completely familiarize yourself with a culture. In the first year, you can master the diet of your new home. Eat as many croissants and down as much Guinness as you can! In the second year is completely devoted to traveling to literally any place other than your host country. That frees up your entire third year for taking pictures to beef up your Instagram page, which, as we know, is the most rewarding aspect of studying abroad! Finally, the fourth year is a year of introspection on which you reflect on how Study Abroad has utterly and completely transformed you fundamentally as a human being.” Due to the extended time now allocated to reflection, Holy Cross has also been thinking of adding an 80 page minimum to the ICIP. “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty to write about!”
The representative from the office of study abroad assured this Spire reporter that the new initiative “has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Holy Cross has literally no room on campus for its students!”
Of course, not every single student should feel compelled to study abroad if they don’t feel that it’s a good fit for them. The representative wanted to assure students that if they chose to stay on campus, they would be more than comfortable in the new Wheeler Hall 8-Mans.
This article appeared in the annual satire edition of the Spire.