Socially Deprived Seniors Just Living for Next Pub Night

Amanda McClure ’19

No Longer Carded at the Pub

As the cold, bitter, winter months approach Worcester and the Hill, campus is becoming more desolate and students can scarcely be found outside of their warm residence halls and academic buildings. Night falls promptly at 4:12 p.m. and students congregate in Cool Beans with hot drinks nightly to ward away the case of hypothermia they just contracted on the walk from Mulledy. A junior noted while clutching her 110 degree Fahrenheit soy non-fat vanilla no foam latte, “I literally haven’t seen a single senior since the weather dropped below 40.” She’s right, the senior class has been MIA… Huddled around space heaters off-campus and hiding out in Williams and Figge, the class of 2019 can be found slaving over a pot of ramen and counting the hours until it is Tuesday at 9 p.m.. Why Tuesday, you ask? The sole beacon of light keeping the senior class afloat is their only weekly social interaction: Pub Night.

“This is the first time I’ve left my house since last Tuesday,” a senior girl said at this week’s pub night, sipping on her Harpoon Wannamango. “I don’t wanna be dramatic, but pub night keeps me from ending it all.” With no people watching in Kimball to look forward to, Pub night is the social event of the week for seniors. “I can’t afford to Uber to my on-campus friends all the time, so the only time I see them is Pub night,” another chimed in.

The winter walk to campus is too much for the class of 2019. Off-campus students have even stopped going to class for fear of getting a parking ticket on Linden Lane. “Yeah, $50 just isn’t worth it, so I stopped going to class altogether. It’s the only solution,” one senior said. And for Williams residents? Forget it, the Campion hill might as well be Everest. EXCEPT, that is, for Tuesday nights. Absolutely nothing can get in the way of senior Barbara Singh and her $3 boxed red wine. “I’ve literally never seen anyone scale that hill faster than Barbara at 9 p.m. on a Tuesday,” her roommate said.

Joe the bartender says Tuesdays are the highlight of his week. “The senior class comes out of the woodwork, I think they can smell the Octoberfest from Caro street. I’ve literally never seen these kids before in my life.”

The only thing getting senior Meltem Eracar through her debilitating case of senioritis is her weekly Angry Orchard and her hope of someday being a famed pub rat. “Why graduate Summa Cum Laude when you can graduate Summa Cum Pub Rat?” The highest honor bestowed upon a graduating senior: a timeless memoriam caricature on the walls of the Pub, reserved for the most dedicated Pub-goers. “You could say it’s what keeps me alive inside,” she says.

Seeing a senior on campus on a night other than Tuesday is like getting into Whiskey with a fake: doesn’t happen often, but when it does, you feel special. Underclassmen live for the weekends but these Seniors are just trying to get to next Tuesday.

Categories: Eggplant

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