Joachim Dalloran ‘30
First-Year Ping Pong Invitational Champion
The basement of Clark Hall saw a new addition to the common room: a ginormous 64in x 135in ping pong table. Its name, JOOLA, arrived Saturday morning unknowingly and made the five minute walk across East Street.
Earlier this week, a report on the JOOLA revealed the horrific treatments in their previous location at Brooks. A campus spokesperson wrote to us: “The Ping Pong skills of Brooks residents are unmatched and therefore undeserving of this highly prestigious piece of property, Therefore, we have unanimously decided to relocate it to Clark Hall.”
Throughout its past two decades, this ping pong table has served the student community by providing a space for students to relax after a long-winded day. Their resume includes experience in Brooks, Hanselman, and Lehy where the infamous First-Year Ping Pong Invitational was hosted; a tradition looking to be continued.
Clark Hall is already home to some of the best table tennis players in the world, including Holy Cross’ own Joseph Kimball, a 19x Olympic Gold Medalist for Team USA. “As the best Table Tennis player in the Patriot League and the second most decorated Olympic athlete, I truly value having access to the best equipment. By having this ping pong table, it ensures that I am able to continue performing at the highest caliber.”
The relocation marks a fresh chapter for the oversized table tennis staple. Some notable features include:
- Upgraded Foot Traffic: Moving out of a deteriorating basement gives JOOLA regular action from residents across all floors.
- The Net Surplus: Unlike its former living situation, the table now boasts a brand-new, taut nylon net donated by the residents from Clark’s Fourth Floor.
- New House Rules: Resident Assistants have heavily enforced a strict ban on using the surface for textbook storage, unfolded laundry, or beverage placement of any kind.
Beyond escaping the laundry-stacking indignities of its past, JOOLA now has the rare opportunity to elevate Clark Hall’s campus profile from a quiet residential space into a notorious battleground for Holy Cross Table Tennis.
Copy edited by Molly Croft ‘29
Featured image courtesy of Maine Home Recreation
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