Finn Ryan ‘29
Dolly Parton
We don’t give Dolly enough credit for making people think Southern Appalachia is anything other than a nigh-unlivable hellscape. Props. The world will be quite a different place with the Queen of Country gone, though. We will miss her big smile, her big hair, but most of all, her big heart.
Tim Curry
This the day after Dolly’s passing was like gay 9/11. Cher get down! But Tim Curry and his effortless charm will be sorely missed. One plus two plus two plus one? Well, the world is now minus one.
Peter Cullen
If Tim and Dolly were gay 9/11, then this was like hitting the autism Pentagon. I’ve never actually seen the “Transformers” movies, but from what I hear online I assume they’re two straight hours of Megan Fox soaking wet in a white tank top.
Robert Duvall
If you’re like me, you assumed he passed away in 2003 and were mildly happy to see that he was still alive, then sad again when you remembered he is now dead. Robert Duvall is a legend though, making receding hair look cool and standing on it. I’ll be joining you soon, brother.
Bob Weir
I have no idea who this is. The Google AI overview said he was a musician, but he must’ve been a real underground indie-type artist since I’ve never heard of him.
Dash Crofts
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Legendary singer-songwriter Dash Crofts of the even more legendary rock/folk duo Seals & Crofts! Well, at least the two of them are enjoying the summer breeze together in heaven now. And I know he’s in heaven because he wrote that anti-abortion song after Roe v. Wade. Did you know Baha’ists believe life begins at conception? And did you know Seals and Crofts were both Baha’ists? What the hell even is a Baha’ist? I thought that was a type of Mt. Dew. I do wonder how that worked though, was one already a Baha’ist and converted the other while they were working together, or did they meet each other at the local Baháʼí chapter or whatever and decide to start making music together. I guess we won’t know because they’re both DEAD.
Vincent Pastore
This one was really sad. He was great as [This section has been removed by The Spire editors]
Michael Pennington
When a friend told me we lost Pennington, I was really scared before I realized he was talking about a guy. Close one!
Chuck Norris
I once heard that Chuck Norris threw a grenade, killed 50 people, then died. His memory will live on how he always wanted it to, as an AI cardboard cutout in a Raising Cane’s. God, why couldn’t it have been Steven Seagal!
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