Caitlin Wiffler ‘27
Says On Line Instead of In Line
Job Description: Located in Holy Cross’ Kimball Dining Hall, this job is open to any Holy Cross student. Kimball Cheerleaders are located at every station. Equipped with a smile, you will be cheering on students who take too long to get their food. Do not let a student examine the food for more than three seconds. That slows the line down. We don’t want that. Instead, cheer them on encouragingly, waving your hand to the nearest exit, yelling “CHICKEN, POTATOES, VEGETABLE, LET’S GO, COME ON, FASTER!”
What you’ll need: A loud voice, ready to cheer on the hungry students. A pom-pom, to wave in slow faces. A megaphone, to encourage, loudly. White Keds sneakers. A perm hairstyle. Bright blue eyeshadow. Glitter preferred. A purple cheerleader uniform, gifted by Holy Cross Hospitality. Hair must be out of face through the use of a velvet purple scrunchie. Previous cheering experience preferred, but we will consider those who are simply loud.
Who you’ll be working with: You will report to your Kimball Captains. If a Kimball Captain looks like they don’t want to talk to you, badger them with incessant questioning until they treat you with respect. Even though you are not stationed inside the dishroom, don’t be shy to go over there. Just walk on over and say hi. They’ll love that. They’ll also love it if you take over the aux and play Madonna for an hour and a half. If you smile, they might let you play Madonna for two hours.
Things to Keep in Mind: If a student wishes to examine their options, they must do so outside the line. They must look through the windows of space granted to them through the shoulders of students on line. Kimball Cheerleaders will be compensated at a rate of $3.75 an hour. A bonus is bestowed upon cheerleaders with the fastest lines. Some cheerleaders might be located at drink stations, which includes taking empty Owala water bottles, opening that giant jug of water that’s next to the water dispenser, filling up the Owala through the giant jug, closing the Owala, and chucking the Owala across Kimball like it is a football, away from the drink station. If a student is mesmerized by the new drink dispenser, choose Brisk Raspberry for them. Kimball Cheerleaders are also welcome to make posters that say “MOVE FASTER” or “HURRY UP” to cheer on the students.
Featured image courtesy of @hcrosscheer on Instagram
Copy Edited by Sophia Mariani ’26
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