Alexandra Berardelli ‘25
Chief Opinions Editor
Defining a relationship these days might be more complex than quantum mechanics. Does Valentine’s Day make it any easier? I don’t know.
In recent years, more than ever, most of our (barely) understood features of dating and romantic relationships have changed how many look at love and their relationships with their partners. There isn’t a single reason, but as we all know, there has been a rise in a new(ish) type of romantic relationship: situationships. In her “Guide to Modern Dating Terms” in the New York Times, Gina Cherelus defines a situationship as “a romantic or sexual relationship in which both parties do not communicate clearly to define their status. Unlike those who are ‘friends with benefits,’ neither party in a situationship is certain of what the other is to them. This can be confusing and lack the consistency and support that comes with a defined relationship.”
Around the holiday season, I first heard of the phenomenon, “No Label, No Gift,” where someone would refrain from giving their current crush – or lover or partner or whatever you call them – a gift because they did not agree yet on a definite label (girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner – whatever this means to you). For some of you, perhaps Valentine’s Day is a difficult time to decide whether or not to get that special situationship a gift or not. Let’s flesh it out.
To preface this opinion, I am not an expert on relationships. This is merely my attempt at speaking objectively, and I respect both sides. I’ll turn first to the majority: the strict rule-followers of “No Label, No Gift.” If you haven’t explicitly labeled your commitment to your person, then perhaps it is not worthwhile wasting both hard-earned money and emotional energy. Depending on the person, having no label may translate to a minimum level of commitment, which can be quite emotionally draining. I completely understand this, but let me remind you that your time is a gift, your being is a gift, and your energy is a gift. So, if you’re going to “No Label, No Gift” it, let’s be careful not to waste our own energy, too.
Surely, this phenomenon should be considered on a case-by-case basis because there may be plenty of people who feel fully committed to one another without a label, and they are perfectly fine with the “serious exclusive situationship” phase. This reveals a paradox: that the lack of explicit commitment translates into a label in itself, so we’re left with a label. Then, there’s a gift. Don’t get me wrong, having a label comes with unspoken mental stability, and it is greatly appreciated, but it is also up to the person to decide how to spend their energy. I come from the perspective of choosing for one’s own if their person is worth their time.
I personally do not follow this “No Label, No Gift” rule because if I am putting my time and energy into someone, then that is a gift in itself – to both myself and the person I love – and a physical gift couldn’t hurt at that rate (especially something cute for Valentine’s Day). So, trust your gut and respect yourself: if you’re feeling respected and loved but don’t have a label and that doesn’t bother you – I say, buy the gift.
But, don’t forget who the real gift is…you.
Featured image courtesy of TikTok
Web Edited by Zexuan Qu ’28
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