Mack Hughes ‘25
Chief Eggplant Editor
Is It a Skunk, Or Is It Moo Deng?
Moo Deng, a globally beloved baby hippo, was seen strolling on the Holy Cross campus late Monday night. The internet sensation rose to fame after videos of her at the Thai zoo erupted in popularity. She has been captured eating lettuce, getting belly rubs, and being generally adorable. She even inspired an SNL sketch. However, the celebrity experienced the consequences of her fame when fans from all over the world came to visit her. Despite good intentions, tourists threw water and other various vegetables at the baby hippo to get her attention. These violent acts threatened Moo Deng’s safety, with precautions put in place to protect her from the high population of crowds. For example, visits were limited to five minutes each and only on the weekends. While these protections were successful, they were only temporary, and Moo Deng continued to suffer. So, official authorities organized a covert operation to send Moo Deng away permanently to allow her the privacy she deserves. Unbeknownst to the public, Moo Deng’s new home is Worcester, MA. Believe it or not, Worcester has the most closely resonant climate of a hippo’s natural habitat due to its swamp-like features, which will thus allow her to thrive.
Holy Cross administration has yet to announce Moo Deng’s arrival at Holy Cross to shield and ensure her safety. The hippo, whose name means “bouncy pork,” needs time to adjust to her new environment. Students of the Holy Cross have already started to report an indiscriminate little lump, almost the shape of a small meatball, shuffling about on campus. Also, teeny tiny baby chomp marks have been recorded on the trees on the Kimball quad. A pattern of wet stomps has even been documented through the halls of Brooks. It is only a matter of time before she is exposed on Fizz. The support of the Holy Cross community is necessary to facilitate her peaceful introduction, which means giving her space to acclimate during this difficult time of transition. It is of utmost importance students respect Moo Deng, and avoid spectaclizing the vulnerable creature. The biggest challenge will be the inevitable territorial disputes between the campus skunk and the mighty baby hippo for turf rule. For now, keep an eye out for a blur of damp rubber frolicking about, and remember not to engage despite the overwhelming temptation to squish those chunky lil’ cheeks. She may be tiny but boy, can she bite!
Featured image courtesy of Google Images
Copy Edited by Lauren Backstrom ’27
Web Edited by Zexuan Qu ’28
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