The Spire

Daniel Maddigan ’24

Loves Wallowing in Childhood Bedroom

Just before many students flee with glee from the college for their spring break, Holy Cross announced a last-minute alternative to their traditional immersion program. Introducing the “Spring Break Emersion” program through an email this past weekend, the College highlighted some of this program’s unique opportunities. Whereas the traditional current Immersion program allows students to experience the major justice issues of our time through encounter and companionship with others, the new “emersion” program encourages students to embrace their societal elitism through expensive tropical vacations funded by wealthy donors (who also happen to be their parents). The school’s email noted the “eager desire amongst the student body to pursue extra-curricular recreational activity without any of the emotional stress the college’s current programs provide.” The email also highlighted the array of tropical locations and emphasized that student travel will be funded primarily through third party means. 

 One sophomore, who asked to remain anonymous, immediately signed up for the trip to Aruba with several of his floormates, noting the extravagant price as the deciding factor, “My parents and I have been looking for a way to liquidate some of my millions of dollars in Apple stock, and this seemed like the best way to do it.” Senior Thomas Aquinas viewed the trips as an opportunity to expand, “the operation of my mental faculties through consumption of liquid substances.” Aquinas also noted the pleasure of sailing in the Caribbean with a fully kitted out sailing yacht, while his personal assistant writes his papers over break. 

Other students found serious issues with the Chaplain’s office promotion of what some students referred to as a “gratuitous display of luxury” at a Catholic, Jesuit institution. Junior Kathy Johnson criticized her fellow classmates’ lack of self awareness, “I mean what is wrong with people that they feel the need to take these unseemingly trips? Just go to your house on Martha’s Vineyard like the rest of us! Humble yourselves a little.” Other students expressed their resignation at being stuck going to family ski houses, beach resorts, and private golf courses while those participating in the “Emersion” program had the trip of a lifetime fully funded. 

The controversy follows several weeks of student frustration with the growing amount of trips necessary to fulfill their college experience. Mike Haetesvun, a junior, lamented the depletion of his million dollar trust fund, “Mom and Dad are only willing to pay for three trips a year, I can’t keep up with the kids here, feels like every year I’m more ostracized because I can’t join the upcoming trip to Sweden or South Africa. Don’t even get me started on Cape Week.” 

Despite the outcry from the student body, we could not reach the Chaplain’s office for comment; however, sources within the school’s administration tell me that someone has generously paid Stephen Colbert to advocate for the new program. 

Editorial note: Dearest Readers, hope you have a wondrous spring break. See you in Cabo!

Copyedited by Sophia Mariani